The last time I’d slept peacefully was about 26 hours ago by the time I boarded the plane in Houston that was taking me home. The only fuel I was functioning off of was the cheesy, greasy hamburger I emotionally ate at 8AM with Megan in Florida and the excited anticipation of running into my family’s arms soon.
The expectation of this plane ride was reflection and silence. That the realization of going home would sneak into my heart in a matter of 2 hours. The goodbyes, the coming transition, the soon-to-be hellos, and the end of the World Race. I thought I’d sit with my eyes closed with my headphones in thinking about all the emotions and feelings galivanting and banging in my chest.
Jesus had something different in mind.
The planes to Wichita, KS are always small and have two seats on each side of the aisle. I briefly wondered who my airplane buddy would be. As I walked almost to the back of the plane (cheap seats all the way), I awkwardly said hello in a chipper voice to the man with salt and pepper hair and a straw hat resting at his feet. I’d seen him laughing with a woman before getting in the line to get on the plane and thought he seemed like a nice fellow.
I think he said hello back but I was too busy thinking to myself how strange my tone of voice was to pay attention to his response. I settled in my aisle seat and proceeded to ask him if he was from Wichita. He said that he lived outside of Wichita in a town I had visited often. I told him I knew friends there and also drove through his town every time I had gone from and to college in Ottawa. I asked what he did and he said he was a farmer and also owned a store.
He then asked about why I was flying to Wichita. I told him this was the day that I go home from a year long amazing journey. I mentioned I’d been traveling with a group of 18 people to 11 countries in 11 months. His next comment was unexpected,
“Are you a missionary?”
“Um, yes.” I hesitated because you never know how people are going to respond to that label.
“I could tell you followed Jesus the moment you started talking to me. Just something about you that I can see.”
I then explained in detail about what my team did each month in a new country. He seemed intrigued and I asked him if he loved Jesus too. He said he’d been following Jesus since he was a child. He then said he was working through a divorce with his wife after 37 years of being together.
For the 2 hours I had planned to sit in isolation and reflect the end of this journey, I ended up talking with a man more than double my age about the most painful situation in his life that only happened a year ago.
We talked about her, his relationship with God, his pain, our beliefs, and that he too was figuring out his next steps just like me. He was on this plane because his friend was also going through a rough, terrible time in her life as her dad passed away this last weekend. He came as support.
He said, “I know I am sitting right next to you because God had it be so. It wasn’t a coincidence that we got to talk together.”
I agreed and asked if I could pray for him. So I sat there on the airplane with it dead quiet, and prayed out loud over this man I had just met. I prayed that God would restore and be near him. That his wife would see healing in the places twisted in her heart. I thanked Jesus for having higher intentions even in the details of our lives.
That isn’t something I would have done before the Race. I wouldn’t have been as quick and apt to listen to the Holy Spirit nudging me to press a little more in conversation or to pray and encourage this man while he was experiencing the most painful, confusing moments in his life. I still wrestle with saying yes to possibly uncomfortable situations but I’ve definitely grown even more.
“20 minutes until we land,” the pilot announced over the intercom. I was shocked, I was hovering over Wichita and I hadn’t even known the time had passed.
After that announcement, the conversation quieted for a few beats. In that moment the Lord reminded me that THIS wasn’t ending. I may be saying goodbye to 18 of the most amazing humans I’ve lived in community with for almost a year. I may not be traveling country to country every month. There may not be magnificent mountains or the opportunity to experience once-in-a-lifetime adventures. I may not be immersing myself in a new culture and new language often and often learning from said culture and language.
I am still attuned to the movement of Jesus though. This isn’t the end of experiencing Him closely in my world and in specific encounters with others. The kingdom of God is in every day life and isn’t found in the boundaries of international missions. We all have the opportunity if our hearts are open and willing.
One of the wisest people I know, my dad, said after I returned,
“Ashlyn, I don’t care what you do now. I don’t care if you use your major or if you do. I know what it is like to have passion in the work you do every day. I want you to find that passion no matter what it is. As I’ve found in my two careers as a chiropractor and as an insurance agent that actually doesn’t take advantage of people, there’s a need here. I’ve met so many people here with a need and I know there’s something here for you to help meet them.”
I don’t know what that is yet to be honest with all you readers, friends, and family. I pray that the Lord will bring clarity to direction because I’m currently praying through multiple directions I could walk in.
There certainly are pieces of the Race that have come to an end, but ministry with Jesus continues for my lifetime. Here we come, Kansas.
