“Hey, do you want a ride?”
Two men had pulled up to the curb while my teammate and I booked it to the church service for Sunday evening. Their gaze at us made me stiffen and caused my footsteps to quicken. We had watched this car drive down the street and make a U-turn to pull up near us. They asked if we wanted to get in with expressions that made me unsettled. We ignored them and continued walking safely to the church.
I felt sick, I felt angry, and I felt their eyes attempt to diminish my worth.
Earlier that same day I was walking back from a sweets and coffee shop after taking some time to connect with people back home. I was warned of the gypsy children that will be friendly but many will try to steal from you.
As I was walking, I noticed a small girl with dark hair and bright pink lipstick observe my backpack. She then fell in step with me and said “hi”. When I slowed my steps, she slowed down and when I sped up, she walked faster. My heart felt tight and I knew this wasn’t about being friends unlike some of the other children who say hello. She wanted things from me. Eventually I crossed the street and she didn’t follow.
I hated feeling I was viewed as only worth what was in my backpack.
A group from my squad decided to walk to the store. It was at night with a sea of fog blanketing the streets but they reasoned a large group would be okay. They went out the gate of our house walking the opposite direction of two men. As they walked, my friend told me she noticed figures behind them. She glanced back and the two men that were headed in the opposite direction were now following them. They quickly crossed the street and came back home.
There is heaviness in Draganesti-Olt, Romania. We’ve been here a week and I’ve only walked the main street teeming with stray dogs but there’s an air of subtle danger, lifelessness, and brokenness here.
It’s a small town but it’s brimming with desperation and empty hearts. Many men here stare at us and my heart beats faster because I can’t see the life in them. All I see and feel is hollowness and hunger.
This contrasts with what I expected. Driving from Serbia to Romania, I began to fall in love with this country. It’s dotted with mountains flashing vibrant colors of banana yellow, soft orange, deep green, and autumn brown. The houses looked cozy with smoke billowing out of skinny, silver vents as rain fell while we drove. Horses trotted down cobblestone streets with carriages following behind them.
I only saw a handful of people such as one old woman wearing a headwrap and long skirt passing along bread to her neighbor. Before coming here, I imagined it would feel like a family huddled around a fire; a place warm and kind with families inviting us over for a hot meal in their cozy houses.
Draganesti-Olt is not this. At least not ones I’ve met so far. There are people in the church that are this warmth and kindness but on the streets, it feels different.
As I walked into church, there was a shift. Raul, our host, does amazing work in various ministries and programs here that I’ll explain in another blog. He and his wife tirelessly invest in people and the Kingdom of God. Their hearts are full of kindness and a intense burden for the lost in Romania.
I realized the moments the entire day that I was on the main street, I felt the need to not make eye contact with anyone even the genuinely friendly people. The need to simply get to my destination as soon as possible was strong.
I walked with fear. I also walked with anger and sickness at how I felt devalued. In the church, I relaxed and my bitterness faded because there was a room that was filled with hope because of the power and resurrection of Christ entering their lives.
I remembered as I moved into this room of people singing to God that I should not clutch onto fear. We can walk in caution but we are not meant to remain in deep set fear of what Christ has already conquered. The heaviness here in Draganesti-Olt is not unbreakable because Christ has already won this battle. He has shaken the whole earth with everlasting light.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?” -Psalm 27:1
“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12
Instead of feeling degraded and angry at the people in this town, the Lord began to give me back compassion that was lost in this fear and feeling of my personal self being quietly threatened.
These people are lost. The drunken man for example on the street is in poverty and suffering. Instead of feeling aversion to the man, disappointment, or disgust, I should pray hope and light take hold of his life. He is broken and doesn’t have life with Christ.
This town needs to find its pulse; it needs life and hope. The southern part of Romania we were told by our ministry host is only 0.2% Christian.
These are the places we’ve been brought to because of the strongholds in these countries. We are here to not make steps with fear but in the power of the Holy Spirit. We are here to share with people the hope that exists in relationship with Christ. They need it. We are here to encourage those already in this battlefield and help them find resources and people.
If we allow defeat to take root in us, we find ourselves hiding in the corner in the dark. But if we overcome and if we remember who and why we are here in confidence, that’s when we begin to turn on the light.
“Yeah in this wasteland where I’m livin’
There is a crack in the door filled with light
And it’s all that I need to shine.” – Needtobreathe
Please pray that we can resist the heaviness that is trying to prevent my squad from carrying Christ with boldness into the streets. Pray that sickness would leave some of my team and that comfort will fall on those who are suffering. And pray that the hope in Christ can run rampant in this town and country.
