Month 9 will be coming to a close in one week…woah. Where did this year go? At this point in my race, I’m trying to figure out what life back home will look like and trying to focus on life right in front of me. Yet again, I have a random rash (probably heat rash, but it’s still miserable none the less), the food does not agree with my stomach, and it’s hot- oh so hot. But unlike month 5 when I wrote similar things, I don’t want to go home this time. This time, I’m enjoying these moments because I know it two very short months, they won’t exist anymore and I will probably miss them.
But it took one man opening up and telling me his story to give me a reality check. This month, we’ve been working with a bilingual elementary school, I’ve taught in third, fifth, and pre-k and man, have these kids worn me out. About a week ago, the school psychologist asked Sarah and me into his office to talk (not going to lie, I was nervous that I was about to get into trouble, he’s the school’s disciplinary!) he started the conversation by asking how we were- how we REALLY were. We choose to be honest, we told him our struggles and how tired we were, and that we were trying to do our best, but weren’t sure how much good we were doing for the school. He took that as an opportunity to open up about his past, he told us how one man focused on him- pushed him to go to school, stop getting in trouble, and get his life together. Because of that man, he has an office all of his own, he’s 6 classes away from his Masters, and he’s able to help his students the way he was helped.
When he finished his story, I started crying. I knew God had him tell that story for me, I’ve struggled so much this year feeling like I was useless or not making an impact. I’ve read blogs about people who have changed someone’s life, I’ve seen my team mates have these amazing world race moments and I felt like I was being left out of something big, something that comes with the territory of being a missionary. But I realized that this year, I’ve been planting seeds; talking to people about Jesus, telling them my story, laughing with them, giving them grace for past decisions, helping plan businesses they want to open one day, simply being a friend. I’m not going to get the chance to see my flowers bloom- but I realize now that it’s okay, because somewhere down the road, someone else will get to experience the fruits of my labor and they will get to enjoy the work I put into this world.
After that talk, I reached the level of comfort I’m at right now. A level of – man, life is great and every single day is an adventure, whether here or back home. Going home is scary, who am I going to have poop talks, or Jesus time, or listen to a podcast while painting with? But I am so ready to live life outside of the Race as the person that God changed me into this year, and to keep planting seeds in the people back home!
