In Botswana (Month 2), I stopped taking my anti-depressants and started relying on the Lord for my happiness. It was going great, I was learning to fully trust in God and I had found complete happiness.
Until Malaysia. (Month 7) In Malaysia, the devil attacked and he attacked hard. I wanted to do nothing but lay in bed and sleep. I was scared of how far I had gone, but I was to ashamed to talk to my team about my struggles. I know now, that was the devil trying to make me feel guilty for something I couldn’t control.
One night, I finally opened up to my team about where I was at. I told them I had been feeling more depressed than I had in a long time and that I felt very alone. They hugged me and prayed for me, they held me while I broke down sobbing. Later that night at our prayer meeting, they asked one of us to share our testimony and God laid it on my heart to speak. I told them about my fight against depression and the walk God has taken me on. When we got home, I went down into the chapel and turned on worship music, I got on my knees and declared “devil, get out of my life. Get out of my mind, heart, and body. You do not belong here and in the name of Jesus, I want you out. ” That night, I found freedom. I learned how to cast the evil out and walk in true joy from the Father. I know there will be hard days, but I’ve learned that when you want something, you have to DECLARE it. I used to say “I don’t want to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life to be happy” and now, I don’t have to.
