“We must go through many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God.” Acts 14:22
On Monday, I received news that turned my life upside down.
My Step-Dad had a stroke.
I didn’t know how to handle it, I still don’t know how to handle it. In my family, my Step-Dad is very much the typical “Father” role. He’s strong, works hard, loves God, and is always there when you need him.
The hardest part for me?
Not being able to be there to support and help my family in their time of need.
I started to feel useless, like I couldn’t do anything. My first thought was: “What if something happens while I’m on the race. I’m not handling being 8hrs away very well, how am I going to handle being on a different continent?”
And then my Mom (the strongest woman I know) told me: “At home, if something happens we have our family. But when you’re on that race, you’re not going to have your family. Yes, you’ll have your team, but you have to learn how to put your faith in God. Trust that he is going to take care of us, have faith that God knows what he’s doing. Worrying and stressing isn’t going to fix anything.”
She is beyond right. I love God. He’s my Best Friend, everything I do, I do for Him. But at the end of the day, I struggle with handing my problems over to God and letting His will be done.
Because stressing will not change anything.
This week I have felt many emotions. Guilt being the number one.
Guilt because I’m not with them.
Guilt because my Mom is worried about my Fundraising.
Guilt because while my Step-Dad is recovering from a stroke, and I’m about to leave for 11 months.
But I’m done feeling guilt, because as my Mom said “You are where you’re supposed to be, and I find comfort in the fact that you are chasing your dreams.” (Told you she was amazing.)
So I’m choosing to use this situation as a tool for growth. I believe that all these negative emotions I’ve been feeling has been the Devil trying to keep me from leaving in January. (I almost told my Mom I was pushing back my departure date.)
God however is using this to prepare me for being gone for so long. He is preparing my heart to rely and trust in him. He started me off small, so that if something does happen while I’m gone (praying nothing does…) I know I can make it through.
Because through Christ, all things are possible.
I do ask that you keep my family in your prayers, my Dad has a long road ahead of him for recovery.
**For future World Racers: Just know, the two months between Training Camp and Launch, your world is going to go crazy. God is going to prepare you for everything, the Devil is going to fight hard to keep you home, and you’re going to be so ready to leave that it’s easy to forget to take time for those you love. Enjoy your season at home, spend time with everyone, and never forget to pray daily. **
