When I began the World Race I was outspoken, opinionated, and could debate anything for hours. I loved to talk about what God was doing in my life and I loved to share my passions with anyone who wanted to listen. However, over the past three months I entered into a season where I had nothing to say about anything. I still had thoughts but I couldn't put them into words, it was like someone was blocking me from speaking.
I felt like my passion for everything was gone.
I was scared. I was scared that I would never have passion or words for anything again. That I would continue to be silent, that the words wouldn't come, and that I wouldn't return to being my lively, talkative self.
This past season has been hard. It's been a season with more frustration than I care to share… I was begged by my team to have a voice, but I kept hearing something different from God, to be quiet and just listen. It was a season of confusion, of not knowing why I wasn’t speaking and not knowing if there was something more wrong with me. As one person put it, I seemed flustered all the time. I couldn’t find a peace with what God was doing in me and with the words I wasn't sharing.
But recently, I realized the Lord was taking my heart and refining it. He was readying it for a season that I am slowly entering into now—A season of passion and action. But before I entered this season, God was teaching me to listen more and talk less, and most importantly, he was teaching me how to fight for the kingdom without harming His people. I started to understand the lesson that God was teaching me, and started to embrace the listening. And once I started to listen without fighting, things changed. I could hear the things I was supposed to be listening for and when I did speak, it was because I needed too.
I realized that just because I wasn't speaking about something didn't mean I wasn't passionate about it, that just because I didn't have words didn't mean I didn't care, it just meant that I needed to listen and consider more before I spoke.
I am still in need of $1,205 to continue on this journey. You can donate by clicking the support me link on the left hand side.
