“So your blog about being "lovely" has been on my mind since you wrote it. Musing over it silently, discussing it with people I don't know, etc. it occurred to me that my greatest pain the past few years was because the events in my life have left me feeling unloved, unlovable, unlovely. And in that state, I recede to my own self, and I cannot be effective for others and especially not for Him. And so I see that is how Satan operates. Whatever he can tell you to incapacitate you, he will say. Whatever it takes to do that to you, he will do. And believing that I am lovely is difficult, but I see where the freedom in that belief is.”
Then she quoted the late Brennan Manning saying, "I am lovable [lovely] only because He loves me. So there is our truth. And I am going to stand on that.”
When I finished reading her message, I shut my computer and wanted to cry. Because the truth of the matter is this:
Just because HE says I’m Lovely, doesn’t mean I always believe it.
Every single day I have to remind myself that I am enough. Every single day I have to tell myself that He thinks I’m beautiful. That I’m never too much for Him to take in. That my attitude is never too bad for Him, that my tone is never too harsh for Him, and that the size of my body is exactly how He wants it to be. I have to remind myself that regardless of any of the things I just listed, I became Lovely the day He said that it. is. finished.
I am Lovely because it is finished. He finished it.
So why did I want to cry? Three reasons.
1. I hate that I have to remind myself of this. I hate that somehow, the enemy creeps in without my noticing and I forget the truths He has spoken.
2. I was reminded of the impact the enemy has on our minds. You can ignore Satan’s power and influence if you so choose, but I’m here to tell you that it would just be ignorant to do so. We need to acknowledge His lies the second it happens and deal with it RIGHT THEN. And the fact that I fail at this makes me want to cry. It makes me hate sin and long for paradise where everything will be perfect.
3. I realized that too many women, myself included, have been looking at ourselves through someone else’s eyes and I’ve had enough of it.
Amy often talks about a conference she attended once where a sermon she heard changed her life for good. The speaker asked the question, “Who is holding your mirror?” She made the point that we allow other people to tell us what to think and believe about ourselves. From the sound of my friend’s message, Satan has been holding her mirror for too long.
So, to the girl reading this who never found acceptance and it’s affecting every part of your life now, take back your mirror. The in-crowd never deserved to hold it.
And to the single mom of two, who’s husband just walked out – take back your mirror. He’s had it for long enough.
To the woman who gave him one more chance, and now you wonder if it was the right move. You struggle with the line between justice and forgiveness– take back your mirror.
To my girlfriends from college reading this, take back your dang mirror, girl!! So maybe you messed up and now your body feels like anything but a temple of the Living God. Frat boys and bartenders and professors on power trips have held your mirror entirely too long and it’s time for you to hand it over to the One who should have had it the whole time.
From this point on, we are not defined by the image other people reflect on us.
We are Lovely. And not because of anything special we have done or said or prayed. Simply because The Most High holds our mirrors now.
We are all Lovely because it is finished.
