Even with Thanksgiving behind us, we must remember to be in a constant state of gratitude. 

 

Gratitude for the past that made us who we are today. That taught us critical lessons, even if they weren’t pleasant at the time.

Gratitude for the present that has it’s blessings to bring us joy for today. But that also has it’s trials to shape us into who need to be for the future God has planned.

Gratitude for the future awaiting us. The plan that God has for each one of us is greater than we can even begin to imagine. It will be full of blessings, growth and joy. 

 

I am constantly drawn back to overwhelming gratitude when I stop and think of all God has done for me. I was lost in my depression and pain. I was hurting myself and those around me. There was no joy, no gratitude, no love. I wanted nothing more than for my life to end. I look back now and see what I would have missed. The events that will forever be treasured memories. The people I have come to love… I almost missed out on it completely. The moments that left my stomach hurting from being unable to stop the laughter. The moments that brought me to tears because I never though life could be so good. 

 

It’s easy in the hustle and bustle of everyday life to stop and remember how much I have been given. It’s easy to get caught up in dates, deadlines, worries and stress. I catch myself saying “I just don’t have enough time for all of this.” Then I remember. I have more time than I originally wanted. If it wasn’t for God intervening, I would have taken my life. All the deadlines and stress would be gone. But so would the overflowing joy and love that is within me every single day. 

 

For that, I am grateful. I am grateful for the bills I need to pay because it represents the things I have. I am grateful for the (insane) amount of homework I have because it means I am increasing in knowledge. I am grateful for the worry I feel when I think I’ve hurt someone, because it means I love and I am loved in return. Through every bad situation we can still be grateful for something in it.

 

Yesterday I woke up with a nightmare-triggered panic attack. It took much longer than usual to get out of bed because of the fear running through my veins. When I was finally able to get my day started it felt like my heart was pumping twice as fast. I felt like I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking. I was short of breath. However, I was grateful. For one, I’ve had worse panic attacks where I couldn’t get out of bed all day or even ended up in the ER. More importantly though, I use to live with nightmares and panic attacks on a daily basis. I don’t anymore. I am grateful for the healing God has done in my mind and soul. I use to set my alarm 15 minutes earlier than I needed to so that I had time adjust to new nightmares before having to get up. I never thought I would be free. But I am free. 

 

I am so grateful for that freedom. I am grateful for the support system found in my family and friends. I am grateful for my church family. I am grateful for God’s redemption in my life. I am grateful for the new adventure He is taking me on.

 

I never thought I would get the opportunity to travel for 11 months while sharing the gospel with others. I am beyond excited for this new adventure God is going to take me on. There will be trials I am sure. I will try to remember to be grateful for them because they are there to grow me. This will be a journey that changes me. It will be one I will never forget. 

 

Please continue to pray for me as I prepare for this journey. Pray for finances, strength, and to always have an Attitude of Gratitude. 

 

In gratitude,

Ashley