I began to write this when I went in for my second quarantine of the month 6 days ago. We had a week in our rooms, a week out and are now back for another week. While there’s a lot of things with this that both my head and heart could say about the situation, I decided to take this time to share the thoughts that have been sitting within me. Because that’s the thing about quarantine, when we’re forced to slow down and reduce the amount of date coming into us, we recognize what is dwelling there. And that can be a beautiful thing or a scary thing.
First, Philippians 4:8, “keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising Him always.” This verse has been going through my head non stop. How amazing is it that we can take over our emotions but focusing what we allow to sit in our heads. I could choose to fixate on what I would be missing this week or fixate on the fact the God is still good. In our day to days lives we can focus on the fact that we got cut off or one person was rude to us at the store, OR we could focus on being awake, see beauty in nature and all of the other daily blessings we receive but fail to appreciate. Many times our ‘bad days’ typically boils down to a bad few minutes that we allow to ruin our day.
This is not saying you can’t get mad or grieve or be annoyed. Just don’t sit those emotions and allow it lord over all the good spots in a day. Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the constant renewing of your mind.” We are called to take those bad moments, thoughts, emotions and bring them to the Living Lord and seek what He wants us to think of those situations. Renewing my mind this week was the fact that every time I got sad or bitter about not being in class with a teacher I really want to learn from, I focused on the fact that my room could not get put into quarantine again and I would for sure be at graduation this semester! Everything comes in a balance and we never know how the things of today will impact the things of tomorrow. Typically, I find the beauty that stems from ‘bad moments’ and I can be grateful for them.
Ultimately, this comes down to how you choose to handle everything set before you. Deuteronomy 30:29 “I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your children may live.” WE HAVE A CHOICE!! In every situation, every moment, we get to choose life of death. When we are cut off we get to choose to be angered by someone else’s actions or bless them and pray that they make it to their destination safely. We can choose to vent about someone’s actions towards us repeatedly or actually go to the person in order to mend your relationship. We get to choose to submit to rules and the authorities over us, even when we don’t agree with their decisions! We get to choose to clean the house, or rest and read. Both of those are good things but our own self awareness can identify which one would bring us more life in that moment.
In this season I’ve also been dwelling on the shoes of peace. In biblical times, the sandals wore to war had spikes on the bottom of them. To wear the shoes of peace is not to walk in a meadow but it’s to be standing stable on unstable terrain. The shoes gave the wearer grip so that they wouldn’t be sliding around whether it be grass or rocks. Essentially, the shoes of peace don’t mean leaving the storm but having stability in the midst of the storm!! You are still at war, still in the presence of what brought the lack of peace, but we can have a stillness despite the circumstance.
One last thought here!! I actually was released Friday evening thanks to my negative COVID test and a positive antibody test. Honestly, when I got the news I didn’t react because my heart and mind had found peace and assurance in being my bedroom for the rest of the weekend. I was talking to some friends later that evening about how I was almost confused in what to do!! I had productive plans set for the weekend that I still wanted to accomplish but I also wanted to walk out in my new found freedom! I didn’t have plans outside of my room and I was having to rewrite my entire weekend. My friend said “man, freedom is so hard!!!” How true is that. This has brought me to a place of wondering if this is why some people aren’t walking in freedom. Freedom is available for us but after being in slavery for so long, we don’t know how to change our mindsets and plans to match the freedom we’ve been given. We subconsciously know how to walk out a life of captivity so when we are faced with a different option we don’t know how to change. When you find freedom for any area of your life do a personal inventory of your life and mind on what should change with this freedom and then walk in it!!!
Great, so that was a lot. But dwelling on these thoughts have given me life and I hope it can bring some life to you as well!! With that, here are some updates!! There are only 5 weeks left in our semester before graduation!! With that, I am coming home to Sacramento THIS WEDNESDAY to say hello but mostly to move the rest of my stuff out here with me. I will be there until Sunday evening and would love to say hello/goodbye to you before starting this next season of my life. While my ‘next’ plans aren’t solidified yet, I am in conversation with an incredible Christ based, sex trafficking transition ministry in Tennessee about working with them. Please be praying for me as I seek this or other opportunities if I decided not to go this route.
My last thing: I am still hoping to be fully funded by the time I head out to Tennessee as I pursue the Lord. With that I am working on my LAST fundraiser!! I have an adopt-a-box going which will fully fund me. With every donation I am sending out a piece of art (made by me!) to your home! God has done an incredible awakening in me this semester of what it means to be a leader for Christ and how to walk out being the living gospel for others. I’ve gained so many tools to fight for the Kingdom and wisdom on what Jesus wanted us to know. You can donate at pages.donately.com/g42inc/fundraiser/ashley-smith or Venmo (@musiclover17). If you’d like to donate another way please let me know!! I appreciate all of your support and I can’t wait to give out all the seeds that I have already been given.
Love you all! Let me know how I can prayer for you!
