I believe it’s during times that we are lacking or doubting when we especially need to look back in gratefulness for what has already been given. Today I am grateful for how the Lord has taken care of my finances the last 5 years. My first year after graduating Mercy was a miracle. I was blessed with $500 upon leaving and in the face of no future income that was not very much. That year I had no stable job, no stable income and a plethora of bills from my past to pay. Somehow, with odd jobs and gifts, at the end of each month of bills I had about $500 left. God was providing for every single need. To this day I don’t understand how the math worked out but, I choose not to dig too deeply and just allow the Lord to love me by providing.
As I was preparing to go back to school I was concerned about how I would pay for the Bible degree I was pursuing. I was informed about a new schooling option that was only 40% of what I was going to pay for previously. With financial aid I was able to pay for everything that came up with only a small amount of student loans.
In January of my first year of school, there was news of a missions trip for that summer. I immediately wrote it off because of the $2,000 price tag on it (that seems laughable now but, at the time, it was huge!). A couple weeks later, I felt a strong stirring in my heart and knew I had to go on the trip. I had no idea how the money was going to come in. For 4 months I fundraised and the day before the deadline I was still $500 short. I had God’s peace even though I knew I was facing a lack and a deadline yet, I had no concerns. A couple hours later someone asked me how much I was missing. As soon as I told them they said they would cover it!! What. A. Miracle!
That missions trip was everything to me. It is what inspired me to find something more and ultimately, led me to the World Race.
Fast forward to September of 2018… the goal I had been working towards the last 2 years was finally reached. I had finally paid off all the credit card debt I had accrued during my depression years!! God is so good!
Then, the next month I was facing doubt again. I needed $4,000 in order to go to training camp for the race. I knew God was calling me to the race but I had no idea how to get there. After feeling His peace rush over me I knew God was asking me to put every penny I had towards reaching this first deadline and to put the rest on my credit card. While that was hard I also knew that God’s will is the better than any financial security.
This entire year has been an act of trusting God with my finances. Leaving any sort of income for an entire year and on top of that being put in a place to have to trust God to provide for me through others. That is difficult for me as a person who believes I have to prove to the world that I can take care of myself.
I can’t.
That’s been a lesson in itself that I’ve been learning the last few years. I’m even sitting here remembering last night: I wanted to isolate and pull away from my team. Yet, it turns out I just needed to be loved as I cried and to put on a movie and spend some time with them. Did it fix everything? No. Did I feel seen and know I have support through anything? Yes!
Every deadline for the race has been full of stress until the moment I remember God and later see that I was stressed for nothing. My last big deadline was huge in my eyes. I needed $3,500 or I was possibly going to be sent home. I gave fundraising my all for weeks and the night before I was still $1,800 short. I was praying and still working into the early morning hours because sure, I might go home, but, I wasn’t going without a fight. While working I got an email. The team back in the states decided that I could stay on the race even if I didn’t reach that deadline! What. A. Blessing! I was able to go to bed shortly after with peace washing over me.
But, what a mistake it was to not fully trust God. He doesn’t want us to have just enough, or get by without! He is a Father that WANTS to provide everything for us! I woke up the next morning to the notice that overnight, funds had come in to cover that gap!! Actually, those funds had come in 4 days before and simply hadn’t processed yet. Guys! God. Is. So. So. Good!!! Who am I to doubt Him when He has said He will provide?
Now, I’m sitting here working towards my FINAL deadline! What?! $18,800 seemed entirely impossible and now it’s down to $1,482! That is nothing compared to God even though it is 10x the amount in my bank account. That has been provided over and over for me. It’s still impossible in my own power but I know God is stirring hearts to show up for me.
I am immensely grateful for every single dollar that has been donated to get me here today. I am in awe of all the prayers that have been sent up for my support. I am overwhelmed by every word of support that has been spoken over me.
I am in awe of the goodness and faithfulness of God.
That brings me to my ask. I have nothing I can do right now to reach this goal except to humble myself and say I need your help. Do I like asking for help? No. Has it taught me how to reach out and rely on the Father? A million times yes. Any amount helps me with this goal!
Maybe God wants to teach you something. Maybe He’s asking you to have faith in your own finances and is asking for a sacrifice, even in difficulty. Maybe He is asking for a step even if it’s only $1. I have literally had $1 donations and trust me, the support behind it moves mountains. Pray about partnering with God’s move. Yes, you are partnering with me but I’m currently in a partnership with the Lord.
I have 11 days to reach my deadline! Wow, 11 countries, 11 months, 11 days!! I don’t think its a coincidence that I happened to write this blog today. God is on the move! Are you moving with Him?
He might not even be asking you to partner with me but there’s something else He brought to your mind as you read this. Go do it! Don’t miss what He has for you because, trust me… it’s great!!
Love you! See you so soon!
Ash
