I have a hard time opening up to new people. I do well in a one on one setting. But in groups of people its hard for me to speak up. I am naturally an introvert and, I like my space and me time. I am also an internal processor, which means if there is an issue or problem I tend to want to think alone to myself, or right down how to fix the problem. As opposed to external processor, which wants to talk out the issue. Or opposed extrovert who as ALL the friends and needs all the people.
Now you know that I am having a very hard time with team time and talking in general…. the girls all want to talk about it figure it out verbally. I mentally just shut down becouse I dont want to hear everyone’s opinions on said subject.
Now is this healthy for me NO! Do I need to hear what they are saying YES! So I said to myself, “Ashley you need to help your self”…. Then of course the next thing I do is “God what is wrong with them?” He said to me “its not them, I created them diffrent just as I created you diffrent, you need to change your thoughts!”………… Now how exactly? I have not figured it out but I am aware there is growth that needs to happen. I’m very good at putting myself in other peoples shoes and normally when I feel this way thats what I do. So I did. Ya it sucked.
I want people to care about how I feel about subject blah Or if I am talking I want to know I am being herd, I do not like feeling ignored. I know there opinions matter. That my team is very valuable to God, they are my sisters in Christ. Its just still very new, and here I can enterally process how I feel better than saying it.
I’m so not use to being around so many women and I’m definitely learning how to deal with people differently. I did not say I was learning gracefully! I am trying though. Trying to open up during team time, trying to not be so introverted.(the hardest one for me) Trying to figure out how to form new relationships……. Its only been a week so I’m giving myself a little bit of a break. Anyway to all you Introverts out there you are not alone.
