When I look back on the last month in Panama, I get filled with mixture emotions – first I have to apologise to you I know a lot of you who read my blog enjoy the pictures of my goings on, unfortunately this month my phone broke and so capturing moments was no longer available. Now heading into the next few months in Africa, wifi and electricity will be limited and so again apologise communications may be little.
The Lord always guides and teaches in these moments, this has allowed me to reevaluate where I am that – dreams and desires, what I really need over I have wanted. I have found a freedom from not having a device to become a crutch upon. Sure it is amazing to talk to home and friends and let you in on my journey, the reality is I got significant more opportunities to come by the Fathers side and spend time with Him.
Overall the month of Panama I would describe as challenging. Firstly for my team, we recognised throughout this month that our default had become complacency in our everyday instead of each other. When we sat together and recognised this, we DID NOT like this truth. We had become comfortable with the surroundings and further more was noticed by our hosts as it had slipped into our ministry. SIDE NOTE – to that, our hosts this last month demonstrated clearly the love of the Lord towards us, they are amazing people and we were able to have much discussions about this and other things in our personal journeys and I am thankful to them and the Lord for such a ministry (thank you Danny and Heather).
This month we are choosing each other all over again with fierce intent, finding practical ways to do this, and actively praying against enemy schemes together as a team. Please pray that we will continue to see the fruit of this and the Lords sweetness.
Secondly, personally this month was both challenging and fruitful. Coming into this month I had been feeling raw from having opened up myself to my team and been vulnerable. I knew the Lord was going to do some deep works in me coming to Panama and I knew a needed to create space to allow Him there – if I was willing.
Driving in the car one day to ministry the Lord clearly spoke to me and revealed that this month and ministry would see the starting process of healing and restoration to my heart. WOW. How good is the Lord who brings comfort and speaks at just the right moment.
I found this moment to be where a leaned to a lot this last month, I found my heart to be restless in processing and trying to ‘figure’ out what was next. Daily I felt the Lords reminder of his steadfastness, I needed it, I needed something to fix myself upon rather than the anxiety I was feeling.
He, in His mercy and love brought about revelation and invitation to the new space, a place of confident rest. The old processing ways no longer brought me close to Him, they were worn and tired. What was happening and still is unraveling to this day is a peace like no other, a renewal spirit. I found in my devotional a translation of Hebrews 4:3 that quiets my soul.
It says “for those who believe, faith activates the promise and we experience the realm of confident rest” (passion translations)
For this year, this is my verse, as I continue on the ‘race marked out for us’ I have been in somewhat mourning as I die to old self, old roots and lies, laying down myself to the Lord. I had fear of things that I knew were good in me, of letting me go and not knowing myself anymore. I still have some anxiety about this but moving to His word I know I will start to see me the way my Father sees me, all of old me gone, and encompassed in God.
I ask that you pray for me and my team continually and consciously that the Lord would continue to actively reveal plan and purpose for this year!
Lastly I will share my highlight of the month that was Panama. The Saturday before New Years, our hosts planned an outreach event to highlight their building of a church in the area. We had musicians come six hours away to do worship, three different speakers and evangelists. Our team did a small drama to highlight Jesus and how he is our everything.
This event was just incredible people were open and receptive to hearing Gods word be shared. One of our team mates got to sing and play with the band, it was incredible. By far my two favourite moments were worship, the sweet presence of God, SO GOOD! And the several families who gave their lives to Jesus right by the beach, what an honour to be a part of this.
And now I leave you with a fundraising update.
The deadline is fast approaching and I am not yet fully funded, I really need your help in making this possible. There is a high possibility that as the deadline comes and goes, if I am not funded I will have to be sent home!
I do not want this, I am so so close to the goal and I don’t want all of what’s gone before to fall through. I did make a short video for social media detailing all.
I’m asking you to donate even a small amount, each donation brings me closer but also allows me to continue the ‘good work’ the Lord has put in front of me.
Thank you and Blessings 🙂
