Your probably wondering a lot about that statement – what’s that mean? Well let me bring you up to speed on all the things and where and why the Lord spoke these words to me.
Let’s rewind back to 26th of august, I officially finish the world race and am making my way home to see my family. First being on your own, separated from your people that have been family for the last year is hard, and also very quiet. As we said goodbyes, there were lots of tears, I was going with the flow of the whole process knowing that it wouldn’t hit me for a while yet.
As I write this now….now it hurts, most of them reunited this week for a mini debrief and it brought my heart huge joy to be able to see my people together in the same room but sad because I wasn’t there with them. They love me so well though by sending pictures and videos.
First revelation – the Lord in his faithfulness gave me incredible people for season and I am so blessed, absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. What that means for now is that the reunions will be more that sweet and
Second revelation – I have been blessed to be a blessing, I have been given a huge kingdom opportunity to lead and walk alongside the next generation, empowering them to seek and find the Lord in all the nations…WOW! He gave me a new family for this season, a bigger family, showing me his abundance in this season and the WILD adventure to come.
I came home and I had all the emotions, three days in I was overwhelmed at the amount of things that had been/were happening and the rate at which they were happening.
I thought to myself ‘is this just because I’m home for a short amount of time?’ or was it that these same things were apparent but I now having been away, came back with a different perspective and an acute awareness to the things around me, it honestly worried me.
I felt like a had stepped into a spiritual war zone that I didn’t see before and it was all becoming clear and real. Personal and communal spaces were hit hard.
Third revelation – when opposition is great that means breakthrough is on the way – holding on to the Lord and his promise, walking in faith and pressing in – this could not be more relevant to my life right now. Choosing to step out again from a somewhat comfort zone to the unknown, all for the Lord to be revealed, has the enemy shaken.
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” ~ Philippians 3:12-14
I then launched myself back onto the field literally, coming back to Georgia was really sweet and exciting and overwhelming all in one day, we had a few days together I met my whole team, parents and people who would be helping along the 9 month journey.
Now if you know me at all you will know that one of the sweet spots I have with the Lord is my love for Cambodia, so when it was revealed that that is where I will be going first and back to the same place I was when I was there in June, I felt a whole new level of excitement and that these racers were going to experience a truly beautiful people and nation.
Fourth revelation – where ever I am with the Lord, is home. Being back in Battambang felt so normal for me the culture, people and places it just feels like I’ve come home, the main difference being that I came with a different family that wasn’t my own from previously. But it made me realise that my heart is anchored deep wherever the Lord is present.
The first couple of weeks quiet times where amazing, studying the word, worshipping and feeling like I was in a good place and then it hit me when we were in Thailand for a weekend. I had began to feel this yearning in my heart, like something was missing. I mean I could think of lots of things, but it was a deep yearn.
It was only on the bus back to Cambodia that I actually began to ask the question, what is this? The Lord in his kindness led me to the place of recognising it was Him I was missing, I missed him deeply, it was strange but also comforting to know where I have been planted for this season. It didn’t make the response I heard next any easier…
“I’ve missed you too”
Bahhhhhh
And I know that that is all my own, my responsibility. In this transition I have lost sight of the quiet place with the Lord, I am being stripped back to dependence, reliance and quiet trust, I am learning to steward, but at times it’s not been out of overflow – and the Lord is telling me he misses me, I can’t tell you how emotional that makes me. All this distraction of the buzz of newness, has led me out somewhat to the fringes.
He has spoken, that a coming back to him is necessary in this season, that in obedience I will walk to the throne room and be refilled, refuelled and rejuvenated – all in the place of my Fathers arms – I’m excited, I have hope but I know that something is required of me in that process. It is good, HE IS GOOD!
I’m not trying to write ‘woe is me’ blog but I feel like it’s coming across that way. I’m letting you into the journey of the last month in the hopes that your prayers and petitions to the Lord will bring joy and strength for this season.
Apologies this is longer than I thought, but please continue to pray for me and for this squad I would really appreciate it 🙂
P.S – as you probably know i have a little bit of fundraising to do for squad leading. I have to raise $3,800 dollars which is £3000 pounds. I would like to raise $5000/£4000 in total.
Would you pray and consider giving a donation towards my trip? Pray also that I can do this and still be travelling as I have little opportunity to host events in order to raise the money.
I have been so fortunate in this last year to have done all the things and now I get to come alongside others and encourage them in this adventure.
If you would like to donate, the bar at the top of the page that says donate, click there and you can do all the things OR if you want you can donate to me directly through PayPal or my bank account.
If you have any questions at all please don’t hesitate to ask 🙂
