At it's simplest, I'm home. I have been able to contact some of you in person, and am truly sorry for those of you I have not yet been able to contact. I've struggled with how to put into words the changes that have happened over the past few days.
I left the world race on month three, in Honduras. World Race leadership made the decision to send me home and I had just a few hours to process, pack up and say goodbye so I've been reeling from this unexpected turn of events. For those of you who know me well, you'll know change both excites and scares me. As I get a little distance from the situation, I'm gaining some clarity as well. At first I could not understand their decision to send me home. It was made clear to me that I had done nothing wrong, violated no rules, which was confusing.
As I gain more perspective, I think that it was clear to people with experience with the World Race community that I wasn't thriving. Though I was surrounded with a team of sweet gals, doing ministry I loved, I was struggling to live within the structure that was laid out for us and constantly feeling like I wasn't doing something right. I received a lot of support and encouragement, and still couldn't quite get my head around how I was supposed to operate in this situation and be an asset to my team. I came home because AIM leadership felt I would do better, be more comfortable, and get more in tune with God from home.
I'm living with my parents in Lompoc till my next step comes together. Leaving the race was a surprise for my whole community and we are all dealing with it in different ways. My Grammie is thrilled, my Mom is confused, my sisters are both, and I'm not exactly sure how I am yet. I can tell you one thing, I am well loved.
Thank you for your love, thank you for your prayers and thank you for your support. I continue to be amazed by the way people in my life show generosity and chutzpah, no matter what they are facing. I love you all so much and am excited to be closer to you as I continue on this unexpectedly beautiful path.
Love, Ashley
