It’s hard to believe our time in Australia is already almost done. We leave for Indonesia in just two days!
One of the themes for me in Australia has been identity. Fairly early on, God showed me that I am not quite as confident or self-assured as I think I am. Since high school, I’ve functioned pretty well as an individual, making my own friends and being happy being myself.
World Race style community was a new (and yet, not so new) feeling for me. It took a few days to place it, but I realized it felt a little bit like being back in school. A classroom sized group of people we were around constantly. And unwittingly, I began to view myself in relation to others in the same way I had back in school. And though in general I liked everybody, there were barriers that kept me from feeling close to them. Barriers like “That person is prettier/better looking than me,” “That person is smarter/more spiritual/more artistic than me,” or even “Those are the “cool” people and that is not my clique,” and “I am a loner and I’m pretty different and unique, so no one will fully get me.” (Side note, if you’ve never done an enneagram test, I did this here and got “individualist.” It offered a lot of insight.)
But those barriers were keeping me from reaching out to people that I perceived were better than me. God told me I am EQUAL with everyone in His sight. I should not be lacking in confidence.
And, apart from merely isolating myself, I was in fact doing a disservice to the body of Christ in front of me. Everyone wants to be loved. If I withhold love due to my own insecurities, who is that helping? I was rejecting people first to prevent people from rejecting me. Did Jesus live like that? No! In fact, He openly invited and accepted rejection. If people rejected Him, that was on them. But He didn’t let that get in the way of loving people. That revelation has given me a lot of freedom in relating to all of the people on my squad, not just the ones that I naturally feel comfortable with.
Another area where God has pointed out my identity is more spiritual. During worship one day, my squadmate Shelby shared that God wanted to break our chains, and wanted us to walk in freedom, not just pretend that we are. God pointed out to me, Satan is our accuser. He points at our sin, from months ago, years ago, days ago. When I continually recall my own sin, I am just helping the enemy do his job. But the Lord keeps no record of wrongs. If He calls me clean, I am clean. If He calls me whiter than snow, how can I argue?
Prior to coming to Australia, there was a lot of pretense. Pretending to have true confidence and self worth. Pretending to believe I was purified totally and made clean. It is still a journey, but I am grateful that God is sorting these things out in me now. What you believe about yourself influences your actions. Having a right sense of identity enables me to love others better and follow God closer. So I am thankful for these lessons and pray God continues to do His work of renewing my mind!
Prayer Requests:
-One of my eyes is puffy/red and it hurts. Possibly a stye or some other infection. Please pray it clears up soon, especially before my flight on Saturday.
-Please pray for good health for my whole squad in Indonesia. Please no food poisoning, malaria, or dengue fever!
-Please pray for my team, Shameless Audacity, as we try to practice full submission to God’s will.
Question of the Blog:
What is something you believed about yourself in the past that was not true? How did you start to believe the right things about yourself?
