There are certain things I have to do that are within my power to do.
There are other things that are out of my control that I have to rely on someone else to do for me.
Right now, I am reading a book called Boundaries, which was recommended to me long ago, but I only recently picked up as I am facilitating a summer Bible study using it.
I’m only a few chapters in, but so far it has really re-shaped my thinking. Part of my hesitancy to even pick it up was due to a misunderstanding of what a boundary is. My understanding was that a boundary was just a harsh rule, usually put in place by someone who didn’t know how to manage their interpersonal relationships apart from legalistic commands. Other people (like myself, so I thought) either did not need boundaries, or just had them naturally without having to be intentional about it.
But the authors of the book suggest that a boundary is more than just a rule. They write that a boundary is anything that defines what is us and what is not us. It tells us where we end and another begins, what our responsibility is and what it is not. We are responsible only for what is on “our property” (Cloud 31-32)*. There is a lot more to be said about that and I recommend the book as a whole, but for now, that idea of responsibility is what I want to focus on.
What is my responsibility when it comes to the World Race? And how do I make sure I am being faithful to the things that are within my control and responsibility? Because there are a LOT of things that need to happen in the coming months and looking at them all is super overwhelming.
~Prepare financially: Raise $18,700, which is not including the cost of gear, vaccines, etc.
~Prepare physically: Train to be able to hike 4 miles an hour with a 30-40 pound pack
~Prepare spiritually: Pray and read the Bible, not only for myself, but growing in depth and knowledge that I may share it with the people I’m ministering to next year.
~Prepare mentally: I’m going to be living with people 24/7. And though they are an amazing group of people, confined living spaces have the tendency to make amazing people seem a little less amazing. Myself definitely included.
~Prepare emotionally: There is something on the World Race called feedback (telling people what they did well that day and what they can improve on). I haven’t even experienced it yet, but it is one of the things I fear the most. Daily, honest, unavoidable, (loving!) confrontation? If I have any hope of not crying and/or making someone else cry, it’s time to start developing thicker skin before I even go.
So what is mine to carry? What is God’s?
One day on our team’s group chat, we got to the topic of fundraising. Although it has been going well for me, I suddenly just got overwhelmed and had no idea what to do going forward. So I prayed about it and asked God to direct me about what I should do next. I didn’t hear anything and decided simply to trust Him. Later that night, I got a large donation from some friends who I hadn’t expected to give to me at all! They are missionaries themselves! How could they give to me? In that moment I was so humbled and struck by God’s faithfulness that I started to cry. I didn’t deserve His love, I didn’t deserve theirs either. Thinking back on some of my own actions over the past few months I felt like I deserved just the opposite of what I got. But I felt, deep in my heart, that in spite of myself, that God is faithful. That He called me to this and He will provide. I look at that to-do list and am overwhelmed. But I am not in it alone.
~If I am faithful to do my part to ask, seek, and knock, He will be faithful to provide all of the funds.
~If I am faithful to exercise regularly, He will be faithful to strengthen my body and enable me to pass the test.
~If I am faithful to pray and read the Bible, the Holy Spirit will be faithful to remind me of His words when the time comes to repeat them or act upon them.
~If I am faithful to go, in spite of my misgivings, and give grace not just to others but also to myself, then He will be faithful to bless us with unity and love.
~If I am faithful to submit to the process of feedback, then He will be faithful in using it to grow me in faith and stretch me into the woman he made me to be.
I am confident of these things because I am confident in God. He has called me. And He will provide in every way. I am grateful to have a healthier understanding of the boundaries between me and God. It makes this process a whole lot less stressful. I can do what is within my power, and leave it to Him to do all that is within His.
~ ~ ~
Financial Update:
I am a little over halfway to my first financial deadline! I need to reach $5000 by September 23rd. If you are considering giving, please, please do! 🙂
The total cost of the Race is $18,700 for 11 months. This means one day on the race will be roughly $57. For everyone who donates $57 between now and September, please choose a day between January 15 and December 15 (preferably not too close to the beginning or end since the dates may vary slightly. Unless you say “first day” or “last day”). On that day I will write you a letter or postcard about what I did on the Race that day and what it is that you helped to make possible!
Thank you to everyone who has been a part of this process with me! Let me know how I can pray for you!
*The book I referenced is Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I was going to write a bibliography, got annoyed trying to remember/look up how, gave up, and was filled, once again, with the joy of being done with school forever and the reality of never, ever having to write a bibliography again (God willing). Four years down the road that feeling still hasn’t gotten old. 😀
