Five Lists of Five: Training Camp!

Top 5 Best Moments

1. Passing the Timed Hike! I had been training since February. The day of the test, they had us do it at 6:30 in the morning. I was like, wow…. I wish I trained for THAT. I can hardly remember the last time I woke up at 6:30, let alone exercised… but all was well, and I am so thankful for everyone who encouraged me, prayed for me, and believed in me. Additionally, all of my squad mates knew how anxious I was about the hike, and cheered me on while I was hiking! I was so thankful for all of them, even though we just met! I also felt the love of my new family celebrating with me when I passed. 
2. This is not so much a moment, but I really loved the boldness with which we prayed for one another and spoke into each other’s lives. One of my teammates, Nicole, came up to me, fairly early on in camp, before we really knew anybody. She told me she felt led to pray with me for an interview I had, knowing I had anxiety about it. Later in the week, during worship, my teammate Alyssa, and my mobilizer Laura also shared messages with me they felt God was putting on their heart.
3. Getting my team! I really did not expect this to happen so early on, but I was really glad. Not that suspense isn’t a great thing…but I am just someone who likes to know. There are going to be a lot of unknowns, so knowing the people beside me (assuming it doesn’t change- they did say it could) is a nice thing.
4. Watching The Princess Bride on Day 5 with the girls of the group. They gave us hot chocolate, snacks, and chocolate. Only 5 days in and you would think I hadn’t had hot chocolate in years. It is impossible to express how happy I was to have access to a hot beverage, like I forgot such a thing even existed.
5. On that same night, before the Princess Bride, we did an activity called Stand Up for Your Sister. We each had an anonymous sheet filled with yes or no questions, each about things you have done, most of them related to shame, sin, mental illness, etc. Then we passed them around and got a paper that was not our own. Our squad mentor, Stephanie, read each item and you would stand up if the woman whose paper you held had done each thing. It was really powerful. To be able to look into the group and think, “I am not alone”, was really sobering. Specifically, even among Christians, with whom we tend to hide the darker parts of our stories, to see that you were not the only one who dealt with “that thing” was really amazing.

Top 5 Hardest Parts about Camp

1. Again, not a moment, but a series of moments: Letting go of the desire to do everything myself. One day we were given a super short amount of time to pack all our stuff except our tent and report to a building down the road from our campsite. Some people finished before others and offered to help. From the inside of my tent, I had this conversation:

Heidi: Do you need help?

Me: (From inside of my closed tent, not sure who was asking) Yes….Hang on…

Heidi: …

Me: (Continuing to try to pack my own sleeping pad and bag before getting help doing whatever else I was planning on allowing her to help with) …

Someone else: Hey, we have to be there in 5 minutes, does anyone still need help?

Me: Yes…

Heidi: I’m still here, but I don’t know what to do…

At that point I had to open my tent, and accept the help I should have accepted earlier.

      Here is what I learned from the situation: I wanted to do things/ pack my stuff up in a very particular way. I was worried about things getting dirty or broken or whatever. It was very hard to give up control and trust that another person was going to take care of my things in the way that I would want them treated (Heidi, by the way if you are reading this you did an awesome job 😉 haha) Plus I was frustrated, not just at that moment, but throughout camp, that we were constantly not given enough time to complete the tasks required of us. And often, that was intentional.  We had to accept help. We had to give up control. We had to trust the people around us. We had to let others be strong where we were weak. Sitting alone in your tent, trying to do things on your own, acknowledging you need help, but being unwilling to open your tent, literally and figuratively, is simply not going to work this year.

2. Rain. Rain, down-pouring deluge of rain, while our tents, and everything in them were across campus. Were they soaked through? Were they floating away? How could we know? We were in session, totally, utterly helpless. Have you ever been at the mercy of the sky before? Have you ever actually had anything to lose, if the rain didn’t stop, and fast? I hadn’t. And let me tell you, it totally changed my perspective of things. In my tent, including my tent, I maybe had a total of $2000 worth of stuff. But the people who were dealing with the hurricanes that happened just weeks before our training camp, afraid of losing their houses? That became real to me. I felt so silly, for worrying about my tent, when for some, the elements, something out of their control, could bring a loss of their home, or even the loss of their life. It made me want to be more compassionate to people in this situation in the future.

3. Waking up at 5 a.m. to pack and work out. We regularly woke up at 5 or 6 a.m., and spent the entire day busy, until the time we went to bed. It was good, but it was so exhausting. On Monday (the 6^th day) I hit the “Introvert Wall” and noticed a shift in my energy and attitude. But there was no option but to power on; we were only halfway there! I got home Saturday night. Wednesday was the first day I felt like a normal human again.

4. Communication/Leadership: I am not sure if it’s because we’re all on the Expedition Route, and as such are all kind of leaders in one way or another, but we had a lot to learn about leadership and communication in the 11 days of camp. We are all fully capable young adults. Many of us have traveled extensively. We had to learn, or rather, begin to learn, when we should step up and lead, and when we should sit down, stay quiet and allow someone else to take the reins. I think we still have a lot to learn about submission and leadership but Training Camp gave us our first taste of what 31 strong personalities in one room looks like 🙂

5. Dying to Self: Training Camp forced me to acknowledge my own selfishness, and challenged me to grow. One of the “field scenarios” we had to do was an overnight prayer vigil. Three people had to be up, praying, on the porch across from our campsite at any given time, 11 p.m.-6 a.m. To be totally honest with you, I can’t think of a time I would ever volunteer to pray at 3 in the morning. Let alone, to interrupt sleep in the middle of a week that was already exhausting, in 30 degree weather, when we had to be up at 6 a.m. the next day, and exercise at 7! So, no, I was not excited, and I took my slot at from 11-12, which was the easiest, but even that was unpleasant because we had gotten used to going to bed around 10. But eventually, as we transitioned from making the prayer schedule to worship, I began to realize that that is why I was here. To die to myself. To sacrifice, even sleep, for the benefit of those around me. Time and time again, I find myself choosing myself over others. That is a huge area for me to grow, and I believe the World Race will bring many more growth opportunities!

Top 5 Takeaways

1. Belonging: This is something I had spoken over me, as an individual and also through worship. I belong on Brute Squad, but even more so, in the Body of Christ. I had a lot of insecurities leading up to camp “I am not physically fit enough” “I am not holy enough” “I am not whatever else enough,” part of these due to tests (hike, interview) I still had to take. Then during worship without prompting, Laura came up to me and told me I was enough and that I did have things to offer this squad.  Now I am home, and it is time to stop looking at myself as “less than” anyone else, but to accept I am part of the group He has brought me to.
2. Trust: I talked a little about trusting my squad mates, but God also spoke to me a lot about trusting Him. Two different people, my squad mate Alyssa, and a staff member I didn’t know, named Emily, shared verses about trust with me.
3. Refuge: God is my refuge and shelter. That is what I realized when the rain was pouring down on us, flooding the walkway, creating puddles up to our knees (barely exaggerating… 😉 )
4. “Grow-Mo”: This is a word coined by one of the teams on our squad that stands for “growth moment.” When a situation is bad, instead of simply looking at the negative, look at what you can learn and how you can grow from it.
5. Endurance: 11 Days is a short time, and I signed up for 11 months! I am not kidding when I say I need ALL the prayer!

Top 5 Firsts

1. First Bucket Shower: Cold water, cold air. Unpleasant but exhilarating. We commiserated with the people in the stalls next to us.
2. First time camping in the rain. Thankfully, my tent held up! Thanks Maggie, for showing me how to properly use the stakes 😉
3. First time eating “community style,” that is, with our hands, and all grabbing from the same platter.
4. First time doing door to door evangelism. That was scary. I went with my teammate Melissa and we mostly just offered to pray with people, since the three people we met were already familiar with Christianity.
5. First time eating a peach in Georgia! 😀 I did not check the sticker to see if that peach was actually grown in Georgia…but whatever. I’m happy.

Top 5 Verses of the Week

1. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:2 As a Christian, I have constantly wanted to improve quicker. Or I’ve wanted God to work in a loved one’s life. He is the author, not me. The author chooses when the story starts, maybe if the story is even written at all. Characters do not get to choose the pace of the plot. They just live it. I need to let go of control and trust God.
2. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; The old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Cor 5:17
3. “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to grow fruit.” Jeremiah 17: 7-8
4. “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Psalm 37: 3-7

Both of these passages about trust are ones that people came up and shared with me and I was surprised by how similar they were. I am praying that I will learn to trust God more this year, particularly in areas I haven’t typically handed over to Him.

5. “Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean, wash me and I will be whiter than snow.” Psalm 51:7 Not super Training Camp specific, but one of my favorite verses that came up once again.

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Alright, thank you SO much for reading, especially if you read it all the way through and didn’t just skip to the end, to this sentence. Yeah, I know who you are, go back and read for real 😉

Fundraising Update: I have my next fundraising deadline of $10,000 by December 18^th. I am getting close, and once I hit this deadline I can officially launch in December. Please consider giving a one-time or monthly donation! Thank you!! Also, if you have any questions about Training Camp, the Race, please feel free to comment or reach out to me!

General Update: I leave PA for Atlanta, GA on January 12^th! We have a few days of training there, and then we fly to Australia!!   

Please keep me in your prayers!