I’ve started deleted and restarted this blog three times now. That’s usually what happens when there is too much on my mind and I haven’t spent enough time processing. My month in Thailand was a whirlwind romance, and my landing in Cambodia has been somewhat of a crashboombang.
My month in Thailand was hearing stories of people trapped in the lowest pits of humanity.
My month in Thailand was taking care of beautiful children who don’t speak the same language as you.
My month in Thailand was turning 28 away from my family and my tribe. It was cake with my team who made a beautiful effort and loved me so well. It was feeling sad, despite their celebration that I was apart from my people.
My month in Thailand was seeing the most breathtakingly beautiful sights God has ever created.
My month in Thailand was so much more and I owe so much more time and effort to posting a blog with substance. I’m not there yet, emotionally, but I’ll be there soon!
The thing that I took with me as I booked it out of Thailand, was that I miss my family and my friends so much. So today’s blog will be a letter to my people, my home.
Dear Momma and Dad,
Wow I talked to you on FaceTime the other morning. You both cried (sorry for outing you to the world) and I was sad, happy, and heart-warmed at the same time. It’s nice being missed because I miss you SOOO much. I know it’s been hard for you since I’ve been gone, but I know that things have also been good! I know that you are discovering new things about yourselves that you never knew because you’re desperate in a whole new way. You are having to rely on the Lord in new and deeper ways too. I know most days are hard and you find yourselves so sad, but I am so grateful in knowing that God knows you, sees you, loves you, and is filling in all the gaps that my absence created!
I love you guys and I’m so excited I get to see you in February! WHAT!? I am excited to see you serve in a vastly different setting and to serve alongside you. I’m excited to share my knowledge of the world with you and let you see me in a new light too! I’m a crazy girl who travels the world with relative ease! I’m carefree and good at weaving through traffic on most any form of vehicle. I can’t wait to share my love for weird new food, my knack for finding the sweetest least palatable cup/bag of coffee in the country, and my love for the stray dogs of the world. I can’t wait to be your tour guide to this great big world! What an honor it will be.
I will see you so soon, but until then know that I love you and I think of you every day. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you two! Thank you for everything you have given me. I am who I am because of you.
Sue, LB, Aussie, and Skouty-
I just want to hug and squeeze you tight. You’re all growing without my permission and I fear I won’t recognize you when I get back to America. I pray for you more than I pray for anything else and I want you to know how many cool souvenirs I wish I could bring back for you! Seriously…there is so much fun collectible junk in all of these countries!
You guys are the pride and joy of my life. You are everything to me and I am so blessed and ecstatic to be your big sissy. You make me so proud and I tell everyone about you and show them your picture. Don’t worry- only about 100 strangers know about your lives at this point!
I am so in awe of who each of you is. You are strong and courageous. You are beautiful and handsome. You are so smart and so funny! You make me laugh harder than anyone. You are shining reflections of Jesus and I just can’t wait to see you soar! The Kingdom is already so impacted by who you are and how you shine Jesus’ love to the world. Keep being world changers, my little buddies!
Be good, listen to Momma and Dad, and don’t fight! Put your brains and energy to good use and make something beautiful. I love you to the moon and back a zillion times!
Em, Drewbie, and Lukey-
Aww…your letters bring me so much joy! You guys have my whole heart and I miss you so much. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and wonder what you had for dinner, and what random animal you brought home to torment your mom with. I miss hearing about your days at school, and what drama went down in the lunchroom or on the playground.
I miss wrestling with you, driving you around, and having dance parties way past your bedtime. I miss playing in the river with you, and eating barbecue, tabbouleh, and buck sticks together. I know this year apart has been and will continue to be hard for all of us. You are growing so fast and will be so tall and big next time I see you.
Know that I love you so much and that I’m counting down the days until I get to hug you too tight again. Keep growing your brains and be sweet to your parents. Sending big hugs from Cambodia!
Bec and Gregg,
Man how I miss your home. I miss having dinner with you and staying up way too late talking about everything under the sun. I miss cold nights sitting by the fireplace and shooing your menagerie of animals off of me.
I miss soccer games, and lazy river days. I miss soaking in your wisdom, and being part of your crazy family. I miss you giving me a hard time about dating, and listening to your hopes and dreams for life. I miss telling you everything and getting your advice about what to do with the day’s troubles.
I am so thankful for the influence that you’ve had in my life. I’m thankful for the many nights you stayed up way longer than was good for you in order to hear me, support me, and love me well. I am thankful for all the ways that you challenge me and ask me hard questions in order to grow. I am thankful that you asked me to be your nanny 7 years ago and that instead of your nanny, I became your sister. Thank you for making me part of your family. I love you more than the telling.
Sarah,
UGH I miss you so much! I miss our Sonic/Chick-Fil-A runs. I miss sitting and talking with you in the car. I miss our random drives, our gator rides at work, and our sleepovers. I miss seeing you every day and being able to tell you every detail of my life. I miss having your daily input and hearing what’s happening in your life. I miss our bible study and getting to learn about twice as many books in the Bible at the same time. I miss your loyalty and belief that everyone is good at their core. I miss watching Harry Potter and Stranger Things with you. I miss laughing about everything and sitting in silence with you.
Every day I pray that you are loved and listened to by someone at home. I pray that you are finding God in brand new ways and that someone is playing with your hair every day! I pray that you’re writing everything down so that when I see you in June, we can laugh and cry and talk about our year apart as though no time has passed. I miss you dearly, and love you the most.
Ash,
Wow it’s been weird not living with you. Living with 6 other girls has been such a different experience than living with you. I miss our late nights and painting your nails. I miss our lazy Saturdays on the couch, and going tubing with you on a weeknight just because. I miss your antics and crazy stories. I miss paint-rolling sunscreen on your fair baby skin, and laughing at Stella together. I miss your laugh and your catchphrases.
My prayer for you over the next few months is that the Lord will prepare you for this next crazy season of your life. When I see you next, you will have a different last name and be Fergy’s wife. WHAT? I am praying happiness, peace, unity, and the Lord’s favor over your marriage. I’m so sad I won’t be there with you on the day you say “I do,” but know I’m with you in spirit. I love you so much and am so excited for you!
This is not an exhaustive list of all the letters I have written in my head, nor a complete list of all the people I wanted to write to today. I am pressed for time because wifi in other countries is not as free flowing as in America. If I left you out, it was NOT personal, nor was it intentional, and I still love you so much!
I’M FULLY FUNDED!!! Thank you so much to everyone who contributed and helped me get here. You are incredible and I am forever grateful!
