This isn’t the blog I wanted to write this week…or ever really. This blog has been a possibility for a few months now, and it’s been looming over my head. It’s hard to write, hard to share, and hard to let go of. It’s an important story for you to hear, because it matters. It’s the story of my aunt Alesa, who passed away on Saturday, June 24.
Alesa was my dad’s baby sister, and my grandparents’ only daughter. She grew up a pastor’s kid, with two brothers, crazy afro hair, and a beautiful voice. She loved big and recklessly, for better or worse. She did everything in her life with flair, including her mistakes. She was beautiful and silly, and her laugh could (and did) light up the room.
Once when Alesa was young, she was in the bathroom of the church, and my grandpa was preaching. She loved to sing and thought the acoustics of the bathroom were incredible, so she sang Amazing Grace at the top of her lungs. Everyone in the church could hear her and cracked up so hard my grandpa had to stop preaching.
Alesa loved music, dogs, and being unique. Her hair was always dyed a new color, and her nails were always brightly painted. She bucked tradition and did things her own way, and it was usually beautiful! She loved Coca Cola and sunflower seeds, and would bathe me in beautiful scents from her giant Bath & Body Works collection of body sprays. She drove a little red car and would blast Alanis Morissette’s Ironic as we howled the lyrics out the open windows. She was wild, beautiful, and free.
She was also flawed, just like all humans. She struggled with addiction, and made some bad choices. Much of the last 15 years of our lives with Alesa were shrouded in darkness and fear. She traveled down a dark path that none of us could follow or bring her back from. She would set herself down a good path, and something would unexpectedly throw her back off it. She lost herself and couldn’t find her way back.
Then, 2 years ago, she was diagnosed with late-stage melanoma. An abnormal mole on her back had grown out of control. Her life was radically changed in a very short amount of time. She went through treatment, and ultimately did not go into remission. She never complained, never spoke of how badly she felt. She loved when my mom called and asked her to read scripture over the phone. Slowly, she was finding her way back to God.
In all of it, God was there, loving her and waiting for her with open arms.
Alesa’s cancer grew in size and severity. Earlier this year she had several seizures because of growths on her brain, and our family thought it might be the end for her. We lived in fear, not knowing how long she would live, or where she stood with God. We knew that Alesa had walked out her faith in Jesus for most of her life, but her turbulent walk through darkness left us worried. After she was hospitalized in March, we felt it was urgent to talk with her about God.
Our conversations with her left us relieved and thankful: she had found her way back to the Lord! Alesa said “I know Jesus and he loves me! He loves me!” Alesa knew she was redeemed and wasn’t afraid to tell people! She knew she would sit at her Maker’s feet someday and she carried that knowledge as joy in her heart.
Over the next few months, she grew sicker still and prepared to meet the Lord. In her last few days on this earth, she sang hymns, prayed, and was loved on by so many friends and family members. The day before she passed, she was visited by her eldest daughter, her parents, her brothers, aunts and uncles, cousins, and countless other family members and friends. Although she was unconscious, everyone spoke of the peace and love they felt in the room. No one could deny that God was there, present in the room as friends and family ushered Alesa from this life to eternity with God.
We know without a doubt that Jesus has Alesa wrapped in his arms right now, partying up in heaven! She is probably shaking the walls of heaven with her singing! We know that Alesa is at the feet of God Almighty, loving and worshiping him in truth. We know she is whole, without blemish, forgiven, free, and a crowned Daughter of the One True King. Alesa was given victory over cancer. Yes, she left behind earth, her body, and all of us, but she gained so much more!
Alesa was a good person, but she made mistakes just like all of us. When she walked back into Jesus’ arms, she was again accepting a gift that she could never have earned or deserved on her own. It was a gift given freely! God never stopped pursuing her. He loved her on her best day AND in her darkest hour. God knew her, knew everything she would walk through, knew every way she’d fall short and chose her still! God chased her through the very end of her life- patiently, gently, sweetly, fully. God withheld nothing, including eternity with him. He pursued her until she was back in his arms…this time physically.
God is a good, good father. He loves and lavishes us with all he’s got (which is everything!). God loves each and every one of us like he loves Alesa. We are never out of his reach or too far gone for him, even at our lowest/darkest/worst. God redeemed Alesa, and he can redeem you too. You need only to ask him.
I encourage you to search your heart today: when you die, do you know where you’ll go or what will happen to your spirit? If you don’t know without a doubt, and you’d like to change that, all you have to do is call out to God. He has a gift just waiting for you!
If you’re not sure where to start, here are some steps and scriptures than can guide your discussion with God:
Tell him that you’re broken and filled with sin. Our sin separates from God and we can do nothing to save ourselves.
As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good, not even one…This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:10-12, 22-23
God loves you and is waiting for you. Let him in.
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10
The good news is that God sent Jesus to sanctify us! He bridges the gap between God and man, and is the direct path to eternal life with God.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17
Talking to God doesn’t have to be hard or scary. Talk to him like you’d talk to your best friend. He is listening, I promise! Tell him you need him and want to live life with him walking by your side. Invite him into your heart. God saved my aunt Alesa from herself, and he can save you too!
If you decide to pray and ask God into your life, would you let me know? I would love to celebrate with you, help connect you to other believers, and pray for you! I won’t sell you anything, make you give up drinking/smoking/cussing, or ask you to do anything weird! I just want to hug you (even if it’s just a virtual hug) and encourage you!
