I wanted to write this while it was fresh in my mind and while I was focused. The past week has been extremely interesting to say the least. As much as I was indifferent about my feelings toward what has happened, I now realized what I've learned and I'm happy. I made this plan to leave in January and like I said before, I had a "PLAN" to have $15,500 raised before I even left for the trip. I wanted to be able to focus ALL of my attention, love, and support to every person I encountered on the field without having to be concerned about finances back home. Even though I began to forget that plan and focus just more on leaving in January with no hesitation, God sure didn't forget. This past week when I talked to Jacob and then had a great conversation with God – I asked for a movement by Monday. I asked that I at least get my ideas in order, my donors in mind, my speech prepared, my movement. Monday came with very little progress and then I progressed with phone calls and going door to door asking for donations on Tuesday. The phone calls with potential big donors went not very good at all; I found out my Aunt had been laid off by NASA, my Great Aunt's cancer came back (never left) and she just paid a three thousand dollar doctor bill, and even more stories like these two. The door to door conversations left the bitter taste of slammed doors, "no's", or the last lady who told me in a very sarcastic manner that she only gives to missions in "HER" church. I began to cry. I thought I had it all figured out today even after I pushed past the Monday plan that I had laid out with God. I then got home and took a drive with my dog (who normally is great for conversations at times like this). I prayed to God with just no expectations of anything anymore and had the most calming conversation with him and realized this was all okay. To those reading who have donated to my cause, I want to first say how much of a blessing you are in my life and how much I love you. I also want you to know that your money will still be going towards my trip which will now be in July.
Proverbs 16:9 "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps"
Sometimes plans get altered and there's a time to realize that IT'S OKAY! We think, "oh man I made these plans, I have to stick to these EXACT plans..if not, I've failed."
I'm not failing and today it took me to realize that.
