Well..something like that it seems. This past week at training camp was a mind bender without a doubt and I believe that everyone was truly challenged.
I came home so confused, I won't lie. I didn't understand what just happened to my life..let alone my relationship with God. After processing in silence about it for a solid two days it hit me that I'm detoxing. I ache and long for those 7 days spent with new found family. I'm mixed up in this crazy real world atmosphere and at work where I just keep saying, "No one gets it". But you know what...I didn't even 'get it'.
I'm detoxing.
-I want spirit filled conversations nonstop like training camp.
-I want worship nonstop like training camp.
-I want to scream with joy to my Father like training camp.
-I want to weep, grieve, and love like at training camp.
-I want to witness miracles like at training camp.
-I want prayer like at training camp.
-I want to trust like at training camp.
-I want to hear the laughter, the joy, to see the happiness.
-I want the community like training camp.
-I want honesty like training camp.
-I want to feel the Holy Spirit how I did at training camp.
-I want to feel love.
-I want the tangible.
-I want to feel high on Him.
It's safe to say that I'm detoxing from training camp. This drug that I crave, need, must have, and jones for is something I realized we can all obtain even away from training. Here's the thing, I'm falling off the bandwagon and heading back to my spiritual high. More than needing the training camp atmosphere..I need the world race and I cannot wait any longer. I'm being led and used by God in a whole new way (keyword: I'm being led) and it's so vital for my season right now. To know that it's okay to go to extremes like this to get to God and falling off the bandwagon of detox isn't bad! I used to be utterly terrified of this whole concept, but now I can't imagine my life any other way and the thought of losing things for it is 100% ok with me. I want to tell people of this new high, this undying and passionate love, this drug, this laughter, this joy, and this life they can always obtain with Him.
We don't need training camp, to come down from our spiritual high, or to detox. We just need more of Him.
God truly blessed me on this birthday. Thank you so much.
PS Ashley, never forget the friendships made here, the bonds that will wrap for a lifetime, the best birthday you've ever had in 26 years, T.O. ayoo ladies!, Aim Staff, and H Squad aka District H: you own my heart forever.
