I don’t know why it was in this moment that it clicked, but it literally felt like a rainbow doused itself over my entire being when I read from Romans 5:8 the other day: “God demonstrates His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
A bloody mess on the cross was love in action at its finest. I don’t know anyone in my life that would take 29 whips on the back for me and then willingly be hung on a tree in front of thousands of people. Then people had the nerve to watch it happen and do absolutely nothing about it, maybe even go as far as denying that Christ even did anything at all. We put Christ on the cross and it is through His sacrifice that we have reconciliation with God.
In Rwanda, we have been doing a lot of door to door ministry and preaching from the gospel. It has challenged me to look into the word for encouragement from God rather than going to other people for the love and encouragement I honestly need on a daily basis. It has been challenging, but in turn, it has given me a greater passion for the word and it has colored the lessons in the bible that I otherwise skimmed over when I was first coming back to God and even months leading up to the Race.
The bible is chock full of the lessons we learn as kids and even full of the bigger lessons we learn as adults. I have been reading through Romans this month and a couple lessons have really been sticking out to me. One is the lesson of the Shadow Theory and the other is a lesson on being with and learning from leaders instead of just observing them from afar.
The Shadow Theory is the theory in which we look at other people and either are jealous of them or wish we had what they did, whether it is conscious or unconscious. This is something I am constantly challenged by in my own life and thinking. When I find myself jealous or sorry for what I don’t have, I have to really look in the mirror, because the Shadow Theory is essentially like looking in the mirror. We have the choice to either choose into the challenge and figure out why we are jealous or annoyed, or we have the choice to ignore it and let it fester, and judge others wrongly. In Romans 2:1, it says clearly “You who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” For me, this is like a fresh smack in the face. The things we judge others for are the things we are also doing. Boom.
The other piece of scripture that captured me was in Romans 3:20. It says “Therefore, no one will be declared righteous in His sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.” This challenges me to look into the word more and to really let what I am reading, underlining, etc… take true root and to let myself put what I am learning into action. When I read this, it reminded me of a passage from a book that a teammate had me read when we were back in Uganda. The passage was something about spending time with leaders in order to get to know them and their ways instead of always looking in from the outside. I need to let scripture help me be more conscious about what I am doing with other people and help myself to be more conscious of how Jesus is working in the everyday menial tasks.
It’s definitely a learning process, but one I am learning to know and love completely and wholly. It was the moment His truth and what He did for me clicked that everything else also become more real and colored. My heart instantly became wide open to the lessons Jesus is wanting me to learn while I am here on the Race. Lessons I knew about beforehand, but never really thought about because I thought “no way,” and was closed off to the ideas Jesus was trying to show me. I still don’t know what these things are in full, but I am learning to take everything one day at a time, one step at a time. I love it.
Walls are falling, chains are breaking, and freedom is ringing.
His,
Ashley
PS. In a week and a half, on Halloween, my next deadline is coming up and I need to have $13,000 inside of my account. I am still a little over $800 away from this deadline. To be completely honest, I have no idea where or how this money is going to come in. However, I have faith that God is going to provide. He provided nearly $6,000 three weeks before launch, so I know for a fact that this Race is exactly where He wants me to be at this moment in time. Anything will help… A share with your facebook friends, an email to family and friends with my blog link inside of it asking for help, even just $5 will go a long way! The Race has shown me so much so far and I know that this is only the beginning. This calling is way bigger than me and I need help. Please consider donating or sharing! It will not go by unnoticed!!
