Sticks and stones may break bones, but words have the power to manifest themselves into a person’s life like never before. Our words have the ability to hurt, steal, and kill. But our words also have the ability to give life, hope, joy, laughter, and space. Words, and even lack thereof, can tear down or build up, but they also have the ability and power to give identity to the people and community around us, which is why we have to be so careful with the way we speak.
One of the very first things we learned about at World Race Training Camp was Identity and how that is formed. We drove ourselves back into the past and visited things that have hurt us and helped us with our own sense of identity in our lives. We were challenged to strip away our false sense of self and then sit in the truth of our true identity in Christ. I say it was a challenge because often times we don’t know what that is until we drive down to our roots and hurts, so we can heal them and see how Jesus was present.
In the process of examining my past at Training Camp, I have begun to realize that I have experienced a lot of rejection that has hurt me a lot more than I originally thought it did. Not only from boys I liked, but also from girls and friends in my past. This rejection hurt, but it also caused me to believe and define myself as unloved and unworthy of other people’s time. This has caused walls and barriers to form around the deepest areas in my heart, only causing me more hurt as I close myself off from others in my daily life.
Throughout Training, Squad Mates alike would come up to me to pray and the constant word I heard was “worthy.” I heard it from three separate people during times they didn’t know I was feeling otherwise. Other words that came my way were “Pure at Heart,” something I have struggled to believe about myself since mid-High School. I have believed lies that I am unworthy, unholy, unloved, etc… for so long. I defined myself by the way others treated me or paid attention to me. I sat in shame that made me fall for so long.
But here is the beauty in that:
We are not defined by how we fall. We are defined by how we get up and keep going.
On the very first night of camp, I was walking with all of my gear down to the campsite with a group of people from my Squad and fell on a steep and rocky hill. The fall busted my knee open and it hurt. There were people to support me and encourage me as I stood back up and kept going. Even in the pain and embarrassment of a moment that could have set me on a bad trajectory for the rest of camp, I decided to stand up boldly and with confidence alongside my other Squad Mates who only showed me Christ’s love as I fell.
It is oftentimes in our falling that we find Jesus. When we lose our footing, there is no where to go but down. The beauty in falling is that Jesus only extends grace, love, and compassion so that there is a cushion for us to fall back on. When we extend our hands to Him, He helps us back up so we are standing tall in His love, worthiness, compassion, and cleanliness. My identity is not found in the plethora of things inside my bags that caused me to fall and bruise, but it is in the way I stood back up in strength, knowing I had Jesus there with me every step of the way to lead me, guide me, and heal me as His Daughter, who is loved, worthy, clean, and pure at heart. That is my identity in Christ. That is who I am.
How do you define yourself?
How have others defined you?
How has that impacted your ability to see your true identity in Christ?
Be willing to sit in those uncomfortable questions. Be open with God. Trust Him to get you to a place where you need to be in order to fully take on your armor, which is your identity in Him. Trust the process and keep going.
All my Love,
Ashley
PS. I am $3,983 away from my next financial deadline on August 21. Please prayerfully consider donating to this mission and what God is doing! I will be sharing about where my team and I will be serving within the next couple days!
