To Stay.
Don’t shut your tab just yet! Let me give you some background and bear with me as I share my honest heart.
Around Month 7, the Lord stirred up dreams and desires in me to come back out on the field. I really believed it was where He was leading me next. At the time, I didn’t realize how much more I had to go. Luckily, the Lord knows what He’s doing way more than I ever could and I can totally see the good in that dream being put on my heart, but the wait for it being my current reality.
In the moment, I was told I had more growing to do and I scrambled like eggs. I wanted an answer, so I sought out all the things I ever could for “Year Two” options with Adventures. I was so naive and restless and SO not confident in the Lord’s timing. I kept scrambling as I began to see squad mates find out their “thing” and I hated that I still had no answer. I kept thinking and praying about a discipleship program in Gainesville called CGA so I could remain in good community and have discipleship be a part of my normal routine.
I promised God I would give it a week at home before making any decisions about CGA or the next steps in my life after crying my heart out about leaving life on the Race with one of my closest friends on the squad during our last night in Nicaragua. Well, I am home now and I still feel like as much of a hot mess as I did that night before we left Nicaragua. I am a bent up square trying to figure out life in a circle dimension culture.
I hear God best in the in-between, which is only one tiny part of why I loved this year with Jesus of travel-and-on-the-go so much. As I have been home, He has been working on my heart about the adventure it will be to stay for however long. He has reminded me to keep open hands and an open heart to what He has for me here at home. He already confirmed that missions is going to be a part of my life while I was on the race. But for right now, the bravest decision I can make is to stay.
God is reminding me that before we can get going again, we have to build some bridges and learn to find the adventure in the backyard of my own home together. We have to shine light over relationships and friendships I dimmed light with before leaving and we have to build and grow the community of support I need around me at home if being a part of long-term missions is where He’s leading me.
A constant word I kept hearing from team mates my last few months on the Race was “ownership.” I grew in my identity and knowing I am loved, cared for, and accepted wherever I go this past year; this set me up for a beautiful path to walk along now that I am home. I already see the benefits and fruit of growing in those particular areas while I was on the field. Being home is a huge opportunity for me to begin taking ownership of those lessons in the everyday tasks that being at home requires. Between leading my family toward a more positive outlook on life and taking ownership of my college debt by getting a job and paying it off as soon as I possibly can afford to, Jesus is showing me the beauty in gratitude for what I have, is providing in ways I never imagined, and is growing my heart of obedience toward Him in the waiting, which is beautiful.
I have exciting news! With the help of my parents matching a certain amount with me for a down-payment and the help of a very small loan, I have found a reliable car with great mileage that I love and can call my own during this new season in my life! The constant overflowing emotion I have felt since being home is gratitude and it still feels weird to say that an automobile that will soon be in my possession is “my car,” but you better believe it! Praise the Lord for providing so quickly in my need! If you could please pray with me that a good job would quickly fall into place by September, I would really appreciate that. I have applied to half a dozen places since being home for full-time positions and have a possible part-time position lined up at a church in my area for a Family Ministry Coordinator.
If I have not reached out to you yet since I have returned home, it’s not because I don’t want to talk, I’m just waiting for the right moment and time! I am free until I find a full-time job, so don’t hesitate to reach out, text, call, whatever. I will be sending out my thank you letters by the beginning of September.
I love you all, I’m staying a while. :]
Until Next Time,
~Ashley
PS! Here are ways you can keep up with me in this new season:
Facebook: Lets be Friends!
Instagram: Follow, lets share the beauty in life with each other.
Twitter: Follow and I’ll give you a shout-out.
Blog: I’m still navigating how to make it as beautiful as possible. A subscription list will come later when I switch over to “.com” and have good income to buy the domain name. If you’d like to follow, add me on Facebook and you will get those updates weekly or bi-weekly.
I’m also writing for The Odyssey! You can see my first article that was published on Tuesday here. If you like what you see, follow or share!
Finally, if you feel inclined to help me out financially in my next season as I am in-between the race and a full-time job, please message me or email me at [email protected] and I will give you the information on how you can help in that way. Please contact me if you need help, prayer, or someone to simply spend time with… Just because the Race is over doesn’t mean this journey is, and I would love to keep walking with you!
