Over the years, Cinderella has been an archetype for many stories and it’s one that pulls at the hearts of many because it always ends beautifully happy. Cinderella’s early characterization is one I identify with in my own life. After hearing the song “Cinderella” by Steven Curtis Chapman on the radio today, I got to thinking about it and really praying about it. I started telling a story inside my head in relation to my own Cinderella Story and it went a little like this:
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Cinderella, she always worked in the background, quiet, unannounced. Cinderella preferred to keep to herself and have a few friends she knew she could rely on, one-on-ones were her fortress. She always dreamed of a Prince one day noticing her. She never understood why the many Princes out there never did, and if they did, it was always as no more than friendship. Cinderella felt alone and it was her biggest fear to be alone without someone to spend life with. Even though she had numerous friends and people to make her laugh, she always dreamed of that One. One day years later, she sat in a car and she heard a whisper in her heart asking her “are you willing to let that dream in your head go?”
And, well, here we are.
A lot of my brokenness stems from being hurt by boys, because most of the time, when I fall, I really fall for the long haul. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ve never really been on a date with anyone, but I have felt things for people that were not reciprocated. If you’ve ever been rejected, you know what that feels like.
As I was listening to the song, God was really speaking to me. He was telling me about how He sees me, and how He will always choose to dance with me, how He watches me and cares about how I feel and knows when I feel alone or overlooked, how He doesn’t want to miss one song or moment with me. He wants to know me so intimately that nothing will separate us and nothing will separate the love He has for me, because no matter what, even when I find a Prince, if I ever do, I will need help in order to learn dances – and God will be the only One who can help me with those dance moves.
As I listened to the song, all I heard inside the ache of my heart was “are you willing to surrender your dreams of marriage for Me?”
All of my little life, I have desired a boyfriend, someone to do life with. I believe that God grants us the desires of our hearts, but I’m starting to think that maybe He only grants us those things if they are in line with the Will He has designed for our lives. We need to surrender to that Will, right?
For this moment in time, I have been called to lay down that desire etched deep inside my heart. I definitely know that I am at a place where I’m okay with that. But when that question in my heart was whispered to me, all I knew inside was that I wholeheartedly desire to follow God’s Will for my entire life on this journey – no, not just the World Race Journey, but the entire Journey that Life is.
It is in His presence that I feel most alive, worthy, loved (despite my mess), and accepted.
I don’t really know how to wrap this up, but this is just what’s happening recently in my heart. It is a work in progress. That is the beautiful thing about God, He doesn’t need an ending, because He is yesterday, today, and forever in tomorrow.
I am looking forward to the ways in which God is going to reveal more about His love to me on the Race – because that just seems to be the thing I can never understand or grasp inside my heart and mind, and that is something I know I need to grasp to firmly.
I am still in need of financial help to reach my next deadline ($10,000) in less than a month. If you would please pray about giving any amount and/or taking action about an amount you’ve been praying for (or sharing this blog on your social media), it would mean the entire world to me. Know that you are not only blessing me, but thousands across the world, too.
All my Love,
Ashley
