November 16- 18:
Happy, go-lucky me is in the hospital. Yay me!
I got sick with a virus, and had three different strains of bacteria plaguing me.
I was dehydrated as a result of my virus; I had a fever, severely low blood pressure and “dangerously low white blood cell count”. I couldn’t/ didn’t eat for over three days, because even when I tried I just threw it back up.
That wasn’t even the worst part.
The worst part is that it cost me 7 months of my budget that was determined for my year long missions trip, and at this point, I was only through 2 months. Which means I have 9 months left, and only enough money for 3 more months.
The bright side was, we have GREAT insurance through World Race which only has a $100 deductible. (So now I’m only out 1 month of my budget). Well, it’s only great if they actually come through and reimburse you.
Two weeks later
At the beginning of December I sent in my insurance claim, they said they would get back to me within 30 days.
One month later
At the beginning of the new year I hadn’t heard back, so I reached out to them again. They said they needed more paperwork (which I had just sent home to my mom during my layover in the states). Because of this missing receipt, they pushed my claim to the side and quit processing it- without even telling me.
Two months later
On the 1st of February my wallet got stolen…
Also I contacted them again. They said they just started processing it again. I’m less stressed about the money in this current moment because I don’t even have a way to spend it without a card to get the money from, and because God spoke to my heart and said, “Now that you have a place of lack, you actually have an opportunity for me to provide for you!” I was quite excited by this!
(That’s a story in itself)
Three months later…
We’re now at the end of February. Worry and stress start to creep in.
On Monday I posted on social media asking for help. I had friends from home Venmo me $130!! I could now use this money to Venmo my teammates who were able to take out money and help me and to repay a bunch of people who had loaned me money throughout the month. I was beyond grateful of my friends from home who were able to help my financial crisis, but because of my imperfections and inability to never lose faith, by Wednesday I was already getting anxious again. I now had less than $100 in my account. In my mind, the reimbursement from the hospital would’ve been such an easy fix, and I had been asking God since December for the insurance to figure itself out, so I was so confused why God wouldn’t have already fixed it. But instead of letting the worry consume me, I sat with God and told him the truth of how I felt.
This is what I have written in my journal on Wednesday, February 21, 2019:
TBH, I’m nervous about my refund. My faith is low. Having no money scares me. It’s making me a little anxious. Money went so quickly.
But God, I choose to put my trust in you. Not in myself, not in the insurance people, not in the facts of what my bank account tells me. All will fail, since none are you. You are my father who owns a cattle on a thousand hills. You and only you provide for me and you are sooo generous when you do. I trust you so much that I’m going to give to you. I know you can multiply and do more with my money supernaturally than I ever could naturally. I know you are trustworthy and I know you also like to prove your trustworthiness to help me believe it, but I choose to have faith until I see it.
—-
TBT to August:
Not sure if you heard this testimony, but to sum it up, while I was still fundraising for the initial cost of the trip, TWO weeks in a row, God asked me if I trusted him, and if yes, to bring my bank account to zero. There was a lot more saved up the first week, but that meant the second week I had to give my entire next paycheck. However, BOTH times, by the next day, I had received $1000 towards the trip, so in 2 weeks I had $2000.
He told me this is what it looks like to have faith and trust that He is good and has my best interest in mind.
—-
God reminded me of this- of his past faithfulness- so I decided to give an offering to my church back home through online giving. I gave $20. Which I know isn’t that much from face value, but coming from someone who has no income (idk if you knew this but missionaries don’t get paid while they volunteer (this is supposed to be funny not sassy*)) and less than $100 in my account, $20 is a HUGE %, but I trusted God.
The NEXT DAY I found $115 in my cash app account that more friends had so generously gifted me. This covers next month of the race!! LOOK AT GOD.
BUT IT DOESN’T STOP HERE.
That money was actually all gifted on Monday, so I received $245 from my friends, which covers this month and next, it just hadn’t been revealed to me until I was obedient.
Then, Saturday, just three days later, I received ANOTHER $200!! WOW. Idk if you count that as 10x the amount of my tithe or 20x since I’m now at $400, but either way, God is GOOD and he honored my offering.
So today I’m sitting here relishing in the beauty of how God has now supplied for 4 months of my 7 that are left. WOW.
Well, I was tuning in to my church’s live steam, and felt lead to give back to God again- especially since I had some money, so now it’s my responsibility to give 10% of that back to him. Except I didn’t give 10% of what I had, but instead I gave 10% of what I needed. So I gave $50, since my hospital bill is $700, and I received $200 yesterday, I was believing for the other $500.
AND GET THIS
JUST ONE HOUR LATER, I RECEIVED THE OTHER $500!!!!!!!
So I started giving him glory, right? I started sharing the testimony with friends, strangers, everyone on social media, and HE KEPT GOING!
Another oh-so-generous child of God sent me $250!!!!!!
I’m now MORE than covered with what I needed. God filled my lack and then some!
Through trusting/ relying on insurance company I only would’ve received $600 back, but God said “lol that’s cute, there’s no way I’m leaving my child in lack” (paraphrasing of course; I call this the ABV “ashbutt version”).
So, not only did he give me the whole price of the bill, including what I would’ve lost in the deductible… He ended up DOUBLING what the insurance company would’ve given me!!!
WHO IS THIS GOD!
HOW IS HE SO GOOD!
THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO TRUST GOD NOT MAN.
TO HAVE FAITH REGARDLESS OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES.
HE IS OUTSIDE OF THIS WORLD SO DON’T LIMIT HIM TO ONLY WHAT YOU CAN SEE IN THE WORLD!!!!!
Just think of all the good I can do with this much money!! I get to be taken care of, but I also get to bless others. I get to buy coffee or icecream for teammates; I get to buy treats for sweet orphans that I will work with; I get to potentially buy clothes for those who have none; I have means to an end to buy water for those who are thirsty! God has blessed me and made sure I’m taken care of and now I get to use it to help others!! Or just bless them!! This is what his kingdom is about and I’m SO excited to get to use what he’s given me to give to others!!!
God is good life is great!!
Jesus loves you and so do I
Xoxo
Ash B
