I still have too much.
Three months ago I left on the race with one big pack weighing 43 lbs and a small carry on backpack weighing 20. For all the stuff I packed for a year, I only have 63lbs give or take (since some was disposable weight but also because I’ve bought a few small souvenirs). If you think about it though, it’s really not that much stuff for a year, and all-in-all if you look at how little it is compared to what I have left at home, I probably packed about 10% of my things. If that.
For two months of the race, I have also had a mattress provided; there was only one month were I had to sleep on the floor with my sleeping pad that I bought for camping. I’ve always had some type of shelter, and clean, running water. So if you combine all the things I have on the race compared to what I’ve had at home, I probably have about 25% of my things. That’s a real small amount compared to what I’m used to. I’m living without 75% of my things, yet I happen find myself sitting here realizing I still have too much. I still have more than I need. I’m lacking 75% of my own belongings, but I’m pretty sure that in my own 25% I still had 75% more than others on this island.
I met a family who changed my perspective on what you need to live.
The members of the family are Rene (the father), Esmeralda (the mother), Kevin (14), Alexander (11), and Dianna- Esmeralda (6). Their house walls are made out of trees that Rene cut down himself with a machete and tied/ nailed together. Their ceiling is a piece of metal, their floor is dirt. When I asked for a trashcan to put my old gum in, Esmeralda actually asked my to stick it in a hole in the wood to help with the leaks/ make it more “sturdy”. The structure is help up by a tree trunk in the center of the house- needless to say if the big bad wolf comes and blows the house in, it will cave. They didn’t have a bathroom until sometime in the last two years, but compared to what we’re used to in the 1st world, it’s hardly a bathroom. It’s really just an 4 sided above ground cement structure that has a toilet seat sitting on top of a giant hole.
(This was the bathroom on my host’s site, and the blue toilet seat is the neighbor’s. I didn’t get a picture of Rene’s).
They don’t have a kitchen; they have a platform which they make a wood fire on to cook over. They don’t have new toys, they play with old trash- literally. Most of their toys are old coke bottles or wood chips and sometimes a few dirty stuffed animals. They don’t even have mattresses. Dianna sleeps on a box spring; her parents sleep in a hammock. They don’t have running water. They don’t even have a filtered water pump. The wife’s mom has an inground water pump filter that they have to walk to and pump barrels of water at a time to then carry over to their house. A pump is “only” $70, but to someone who makes about $5 a day, that’s a month’s savings- and that’s if they didn’t buy anything for a month.
I had a water filter, and a mattress on top of a slab of wood, and even a sink with running water at my host’s site. My “room” was a bug net draping over 4 beams of wood. My first two days here were quite the challenge/ adjustment. Not what I’m used to or comfortable with in the slightest. But then I went to Rene’s house, and wow. What I had at my host now seemed like an oasis.
One day of ATL, we all asked God a house to go to. Who to go see/ spend time with. I’m so honored that he sent me to Rene’s house. This is the day I actually got to go inside their house. I got to spend the day with them and do life with them. I completely immersed myself in the culture and got to see what one of their daily lives looked like. Most of my day was spent playing with Dianna and Alex while we watched their mom work; she makes jewelry for a living by cutting coconut bark and stringing it together with stones/ shells. They’re sold for a dollar a piece.
As the day went on and it got hotter outside, I took the kids down the street to buy charmuskas!! (My new favorite snack!) They are little popsicles in a bag that a mom and daughter make and sell for $0.15 a piece as their job. Then the kids and I went back to my host to play on the trampoline which my missionary host brought for the kids when they moved here. On our way back to their house, 2 girls from my team and one of the girls who lives at the hostel my host runs came back with me to Rene’s house. We sat and talked and played with the kids some more. Then Rene secretly asked Alex to run to the store to buy coke and ice and gave him $2 to do it. He brought it back and then they gave it to us! It was hard for me to take it because I couldn’t believe they’d spend so much on us when we were there to give to them.
Then Esmeralda started making tortillas over the wood fire she had just built. She made the corn flour by herself straight from the kernels, which we learned from another family takes all day to do: the process of making the flour starts at 7am and ends around 7pm. She also doesn’t have a spatula, so she flips them with her own hand! I was amazed that she never burnt her hand! I asked her if I could help, because she had a lot to make, so she taught me how. When it was time for us to leave, I was walking home thinking, “Wow I can’t wait to wash my hands.” Then it hit me. Where is Esmeralda going to wash her hands? I’m going home to a makeshift sink but at least I have clean running water. What does she have?
During this time of making tortillas, Rene and the kids started passing out necklaces to each of us that they had made to sell- remember this is their livelihood- they already spent half their day’s wages on us with the coke and now they just gave away another full day’s earnings by giving the 4 of us a necklace each and refused to take money for it!
They astounded me. They have so little yet they give ALL that they have to offer. They were beyond generous and we did NOTHING to deserve it. I’m comparatively living with so little, and unfortunately that puts me in a stingy mindset. I don’t have enough to give so I don’t want to give any more at all. “No, I don’t want to share my face wipes with you because I’m almost out and I need them. I only have so much in my pack.” (I’m sorry Marissa, glad you were still able to wash your face). It’s fairly easy for me to give things to people who have less than me, which is why it was so easy to give my shirts and shoes away to the homeless last week, but I find it so hard to give away to those who have even the same amount as me. Yet, this family went out to spend a day and a half of their own earnings on us who already have more than them.
Talk about convicted.
Talk about selfish.
I can’t even begin to describe all I learned from this family. Lessons that will stick with me for a lifetime. They showed generosity, selflessness, kindness, love, joy, and so much more to me. They taught me how to make the most out of a little. They showed me how to put others first. They showed me thankfulness and gratitude for what they do have and never complaining. They showed me hard work and self discipline.
I was supposed to be here to help them. I was supposed to teach them something about Jesus. Yet they did so much more for me and they may never realize it, but wow. I truly am forever grateful to know this family and honestly a better person because of it.
