Two days after Christmas, I had the strangest dream I think I’ve ever had. My favorite holiday in the whole year had passed, and I was stuck in the mountains without any of my family anywhere close to being near to me. And it wasn’t strange in a bad or weird way, but strange in a good way, if that makes any sense.
I’m in this white ‘area’. Not an abyss, but not a room, just white. Slightly to the right, there’s a small wedding set up, actually really similar to how my sister’s wedding ceremony was. There are the plain grey chairs set up like they had been, and the wooden awning she and my brother-in-law built to have during the ceremony. In the back I stand with all my siblings and cousins, though they’re slowly moving to the side to where I have to strain and stand on my tiptoes to watch what happens. Back in the rows and rows of chairs, there’s no one. The only people there are two people standing in the back at the end of the alise, and the wedding party already standing in the front. In the back, my Grandma stands arm in arm with my Granny (Great-Grandma). In the front, there is no pastor, but a small party of 4 people total. To the right stands both my Grandpa from my Dads side, as well as my Grandpa from my Moms side. My first Grandpa is standing alone, dressed in the fanciest suit ever. He stands tall and strong, but has the same white hair as I remember him with. He’s not wearing his glasses, which is strange because rarely would I ever see him without them. Even though he’s alone, his eyes never leave my face of my grandma (his wife), standing at the end of the alise. He never stops smiling, even though she never quite is able to make eye contact. To his left stands my other grandpa, only he doesn’t stand alone. Similar to my first grandpa, he stands tall and stronger, taller than I’ve ever seen him. He has the same familiar white hair I’ve always known him to have, but again isn’t wearing any glasses just like my other grandpa. He has one arm around the shoulders of a woman I’ve never met and never seen before, and the other is holding her hand. They both look so happy, so content just standing and being with one another. The woman is young and so beautiful, and resembles my own mother a lot. It’s strange at first to see her, she’s not in normal color, but not black and white either. Instead, her body is colored like one of those older brown toned photos. Even still, it doesn’t take away from her natural beauty, and my grandpa holds her like the most precious person in the entire world.
Standing to the left is another person I’ve never met/seen before. It’s a man, younger, but not as young as the woman standing with my grandpa to the right. He stands tall, arms flat and straight like he’s waiting for a command. He’s wearing a type of military uniform, the one with the black jacket and white hat. His jacket has colorful medals attached to it, though I have no idea what any of them mean. He waits there, patiently, as if he’s been waiting there for awhile already, so he’s used to it by now. Back at the end of the alise, my grandma begins walking my Granny down towards the front. It’s difficult, Grannys legs are wobbling and her knees are weak, so my grandma has to go slow and hold her up. However, the closer and closer they get to the front, the stronger my granny becomes. Closest to the end, she is able to fully walk on her own, though she still continues to hold her daughters hand until the end. They make it to the end, and stop walking. As soon as they stop, Granny runs over to the man standing in the uniform. She runs, like a full on sprint, which is crazy because physically she still looks like I’ve always remembered her, white haired and older. The man in the uniform breaks out into the biggest smile in the world, and throws his arms open to embrace her in a huge hug. After greeting her, he spins her around and dips her for a kiss. They literally are jumping up and down together, they’re both just so happy to see each other. Meanwhile, my grandma is still standing at the front end of the alise, never quite stepping off the white aisle runner and onto the other side where the wedding party stands. After Granny had left, she stood there for a minute, never quite focusing her eyes on what was happening with the party. She eventually sits down in the front row on the right side, in the first seat. My grandpa, standing alone, has continued to watch her patiently, a happy smile on his face, though there’s some sort of slight sadness sitting underneath the surface. But still, he stands, hands folded behind his back, and just waits patiently. My grandma, now sitting, sits contently. She looks slightly confused, she can’t’ seem to find the sight of the people standing right in front of her. It’s like she can feel them there but can’t quite find them with her eyes. Still, content, she sits patently. Her hands are folded and placed in her lap. She’s not sad, but not completely as joyful as I know her to be. She’s just sitting. Just waiting. Fine where she’s at, but fine if she were to be somewhere else as well.
It all plays out decently quickly. All the while, my siblings and cousins and I have been slowly moving away from the scene, though I’m just barely able to see it all happen. I watch my family. My grandpa’s who we’ve lost both, my granny who has passed as well, and my grandma who is still her but now on her own. I’m curious about the man and woman who I’ve never seen before. I’m curious who they are and what they’re doing here, how they know my family members who’ve passed and how they met them too.
Strangely enough, I have a peace about everything. I’m still slowly shuffling along with the younger members of my family and relatives. It’s strange, but in some non understandable way makes perfect sense. I see it play out, have questions, but don’t dwell on them. At the end, I smile. My family looks happy. My family is happy. That’s all that matters. I turn my head and I’m not sure where our group of cousins is ever so slowly moving towards, but am able to turn my head back and briefly catch my grandma’s eye, just before I wake up.
I’m not sure what it means. Shoot, I’m not really sure if it means anything at all. First thing in the morning the next day, I wrote out almost 4 pages of notes, trying to remember and describe the whole thing as best as I could so I could look back on it in the future. Christmas was definitely very different this year, but in better ways than I thought I would have been. If I never got the chance to message you, Merry Merry Christmas!! I hope everyone had a great time celebrating at home for me 🙂
Plus now, Happy New Year!
~Ash
