Sometimes I think I am so busy worrying about what`s stopping me, that I forget where I was trying to go in the first place. Thinking about how much I miss my family and friends, knowing that we won`t be reunited for 11 months, and seeing all the road blocks we have here- like not being able to speak Russian very well, is slowly going to drown me. There are so many things standing in my way, so many changes to resist. It`s a whole new stage of life, one that is strange and unfamiliar. I feel like I was thrust into a raging ocean trying to grasp a slippery inner tube. My fingers cannot get a good grip and I`m struggling more and more to keep my head from being submerged into the swirling water around me. Suddenly I get a burst of strength and I hang on for dear life , but then I am once again plunged into the cold water as a huge wave crashes over me. Endless tears drop into the ocean that I`m fighting against, slipping in seemingly unnoticed. But then I hear a faint whisper above the deafening noise surrounding me. My ears are straining to hear it as I grow weaker and weaker. The voice sounds familiar and when I let go of the tube I had clung on to, trying to hear the voice clearer still, I fear I am about to be tossed into the ocean. Just as I am about to go under I feel strong arms grab me and hold me tight. The voice is so close I could swear it was whispering soothing words right in my ear. And then I know.
The arms that hold me,the voice that whispers sweetly in my ear,is the voice of the one who has called me.
The one who has breathed His breathe into my lovingly formed lungs.
The one who has named me His child, His princess.
He is the one who brought me to Ukraine.
He is the one who has placed these dreams in my heart.
He is the one who walks beside me and holds my hand, reminding me of the plans He has for my life.
The ocean becomes a little calmer and the cloudy skies let through a few rays of the beaming sun when I focus on where I`m going and not what`s stopping me. Knowing that my heavenly father is here holding me when my earthly father can`t, wiping my tears when my momsie can`t and making me laugh when my sisters can`t, puts a few more smiles and handfuls of joy into each day.
God wants to use me this year for more incredible things than I could ever dream of! All I have to do is let him.
Phillipians
