I had realized within a few days of being here just how much I depended on my family and that my peace and comfort had mostly come from my family–the people I lived my life with for 21 years non-stop. After the thought of not having them as that constant in my life for 11 months, I lost all sense of peace.
It was like the rug got pulled out from under me…but it was SO good!
Relying on, and finding peace in family isn’t a bad thing in itself, but it’s when you go THERE before you go to GOD for that peace that becomes the issue, because you are indeed putting them before God.
I figured that month 1 would be a huge transition month for me, and it definitely has been! I’ve lived with my family and depended on them all my life, so going from that to living in another country without them has definitely brought about a huge time of change and growth and learning. I miss them so much, for sure, but it has been so great to experience this change and growth! Leaving your comfort zone is tough..the struggle is real. But it is worth it. I can see myself growing leaps and bounds, and drawing closer and closer to my Heavenly Father each day.
This morning I was enjoying some quiet time with God. I was thanking Him for the peace He has placed in my heart in regards to being away from my family, and I was asking for help to continue to live in that peace, learning to really trust Him and make Him my place of comfort and my main source of dependency…to really take this time He has given me out of my comfort zone to really find Him and to just grow exponentially in Him.
As soon as I got done praying, I decided to read the daily devotional in “Jesus Calling” (thank you, Sara!).
God spoke right back to me…
“I want you to be all Mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests in Me alone–not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: My everlasting arms. So don’t be afraid of falling. Instead, look ahead to Me. I am always before you, beckoning you on–one step at a time. Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving Presence.”
Umm, can I just say AMEN. I had the hugest smile on my face. This is one thing I’ve really loved learning. I’ve been EXPECTING Him to answer me back instead of just praying about things and hoping that He helps me, and eventually forgetting that I prayed for things because I wasn’t looking for His answer. So, when I saw that was what the devo said, I just felt like it was Him answering right back to me. <3
I love my family with ALL my heart and my love for them definitely hasn’t lessened by this in any way, and I definitely miss them…but it is SO good that I am learning to go to God for my peace and comfort first, because that is what we are called to do. And I see now, why I couldn’t learn that until I stepped away from my comfort zone…sometimes we have to leave our comfort zone for a place where our only option is to cling to Him for all things. Sometimes we have to leave our comfort zone in order to let God work in us. Why? Because maybe.. just maybe, we let that comfort zone get a little too comfortable for us to want to change where we are. No more of that. I want to continue to grow by bounds and leaps this year.
So, please pray for me in that area…as I continue to go to Him first, and as I continue to expect Him to answer me back.
It’s going to be so good. <3
With so much love,
Ash
