Do you remember what you wanted to be when you were little? Maybe you dreamed of being a princess, or a queen, or a knight, or a king. Maybe you dreamed of being a doctor, or a nurse, or a firefighter, or a police officer.
I dreamed of being a missionary.
From the time I was seven until my 8th/9th grade year, being a missionary consumed my mind. I read anything and everything that I could get my hands on about missions. I went to all of the missions conferences my church hosted. I remember being so upset one day, when I was little, as I got to see part of my church family off as they headed to Honduras on a mission trip, because I was too young to go. I remember helping to put Bibles together to send to missionaries in different countries. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING I COULD DO RELATED TO MISSIONS, I DID.
Specifically, my dream was to be a missionary in Central/South America.
Around 8th/9th grade, I lost focus on my relationship with God, and I lost focus on that dream to be a missionary. I wanted to find fulfillment in earthly relationships, and for three years, my dream was to find “the one”, get married young, have lots of babies, and live HAPPILY. EVER. AFTER. I wanted to live that perfect “Disney Princess” life.
I took God out of the center and placed myself there…I became self-centered and selfish in the things I chose to dream of. My focus became about me…what I could do…what I could gain. Not that others who are living that dream are selfish, by any means! For ME, it was selfish, 100%! Why?
Because I buried my real dream, God’s dream, and ran after a dream that had nothing to do with Him. I pushed Him completely out of my life. For THREE years. And for three years, something was always off and I was never fully satisfied pursuing my self-made dream.
In 12th grade, through various circumstances, God brought me back to Him. I turned my focus back to God, and I found my dream of missions never went away. I had shoved it in a closet to make space for dreams of my own.
God polished it up and was ready to release it back out, but instead of letting Him show me where my focus should be, I had to get a “real” college education first, right? So, He patiently put it back up, and He let me learn the hard way. I ran after a career in nursing. TWO years. I still have no “R.N.” behind my name to show for it, by the way.
After a lot of tears from following my own path, I relinquished my need for control. I gave over EVERYTHING to Him and told Him I wouldn’t take it back…that I don’t want it back. And, I mean that—I really don’t want it back.
If there’s anything I learned in the FIVE years I lost with building my relationship with Christ and following the dreams He gave me, it’s that I NEVER want to turn away from Him again, that I’ll NEVER be fully satisfied until I rest in Him, and that I NEVER want to waste precious time chasing after silly things when I could be drawing closer to my Father.
After a short time of waiting in agony (you know how young people and waiting mix together SO well!), God told me it was time to pull out that dream from so long ago. He dusted it off AGAIN, and He let it fly freely in my heart. He let that dream fly for a while so I could sit back and think long and hard about what that dream means to me now, if it means anything at all.
It was SO beautiful!!! The transformation in my heart… Seeing my dream, HIS dream coming to life… I wasn’t just living life to live, anymore. I was living, focused to live for Him, completely, in any way that meant. That dream never went away. All the time it spent locked up, my passion to see that dream come true had been growing more and more.
Then God showed me what exactly that dream from 14 years ago could look like. He showed me the World Race. And here I am today. I’m not out there yet, but I’m living the life of a missionary bound for Central and South America! I’m seeing the good, the scary, the not-so-fun parts of that missionary life..and I’M LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT!! I’m loving this life of basking in my Father’s presence and following Him along in this dream He brought to life.
God’s making my dream, OUR dream, come true right before my eyes! I’m SO excited to see where He is taking us. I’m excited to live my dream, Him right beside me as He guides me further into it.
I couldn’t have asked for a better “dream come true”!
I’m not only getting to be a missionary. I’m getting to be a missionary in South and Central American countries over this next year!! I would’ve been more than happy to be on the international mission field, whether that meant Europe/Asia/Africa, but no, He didn’t just give me that.
He gave me the ALL SPANISH ROUTE!
I am SO excited to get to live this dream next year! Would you consider partnering with me? My goal is to be fully funded before I leave in January! Would you prayerfully consider donating to help send me to be the hands and feet of Christ to 11 AMAZING countries in South and Central America? It would mean so much to me to have you partner with me! You can donate by clicking the “Support Me” tab on the left side of my blog.
With love,
