Mariah Carrie is belting out “All I want for Christmas is You”, light posts are adorned with beautifully arranged wreaths, and you can just feel the sense that the Christmas season is upon us. This feeling of nostalgia overwhelms me as I remember Christmases of the past, and then it hits me that I will be leaving the country in just over a month.
Rewind with me for just a second. A year ago this whole thing was just a little thought, a dream even and one that I didn’t share with many people. Now, just one year later my closet is full of gear to travel the world, my arm is bruised from typhoid/yellow fever vaccinations, I have a one-way plane ticket to Atlanta for launch, and my passport sits expectantly on my dresser, waiting for the day it gets its first stamp. To say this is all a little crazy would be an understatement.
The only thing standing between me and this trip is $2,194 and God. To start off with, this whole trip was about me learning to trust in the Lord and to go into the nations to serve Him. Bringing His Kingdom here. And now it’s a little twisted. Now instead of this being about an intimacy between the Lord and I, it’s about reaching my next deadline. It’s about figuring out how to fill out a living will and power of attorney form. It’s about a checklist that I need to complete in order to go. How did we get here?
Today, as I was driving home from work a song came on the radio and it just brought me to tears. My heart just longed for Jesus. It was like I had missed Him terribly, and didn’t even realize it until that moment. It’s not that I’ve been neglecting quiet time, I pray every day, enough to numb the guilt, but not enough to sustain a relationship. My heart and mind always feel distracted with the “to-do’s” that easily overwhelm me. The Lord doesn’t want me to “get through” this part of the Race. This is not a series of hoops to jump through so that I can finally go and then figure it out from there. This is an integral part of what it looks like to trust Jesus. It’s not about how clever my fundraisers are, or how much work I put into them to make people want to invest in my trip. This is about trusting the God of the universe. The one who spoke the Earth into creation. The one who knew me before I was born. The one who has planned out all the intricate details of my life. He is in the miracle business. He is in the business of changing hearts and lives. He has greatly changed me, and now I get to trust Him with these 2 weeks and $2,194.
Please be in prayer for me and my squad as we near our second deadline of $7,500 on December 19th. Pray that we remember Who called us to this journey, and why we’re going. Pray that God’s will be done in our lives, and for His provision. This journey is so much bigger than a bunch of twenty-somethings wanting to change the world. This is an adventure that was started by God, and He will faithfully see it to completion.
Thank you for all of your support, encouragement, and prayers!
-Ashley
