So I was deep in the jungle for 12 days
among all of the critters, big and small. Surely God had me out there
for more reasons than just to conquer my fear of spiders.
Ministry for my team in the
jungle…well it wasn’t really there when it comes to what we thought
it would look like. We were supposed to build two bridges, that
didn’t happen, we were supposed to do farming in the morning,
awfully hard when its down pouring for the first 5 days, and teach
English in the afternoon, awfully hard when the kids stop coming
after day 2 and are afraid of us. My team and I weren’t the
healthiest team going into the jungle, and I think that God finally
said ENOUGH!! YOU AREN’T DOING MINISTRY TO OTHERS UNTIL YOU GET YOUR
ACT TOGETHER WITH EACH OTHER!
I had been wanting to do
computer/internet fasts with my team so we wouldn’t be so distracted
since Cambodia. I always felt alone in doing it because I was the
only one really convicted of it. Its not that they thought it was a
bad idea or anything, they just didn’t feel like it was a huge
distraction. Most of you know that I haven’t blogged an oober amount
on this trip. Its mostly because I’ve been trying really hard to not
get distracted by the internet or my computer. I know that God has so
much more for me than me spending time on Facebook and Sporcle and
watching Modern Family and Community and what not. I’m not saying
that I don’t do those things or won’t do them when I get home, I just
know that that’s not why I’m here. So up until the jungle I’ve been
frustrated with trying to not use my computer a whole lot but then
being really bored when everyone else is on theirs.
God has a heck of a sense of humor. We
got sent into the jungle. Without our computers. Without internet.
Without electricity for most of the time. No distractions. We
couldn’t even use ministry as a distraction. So ministry for us
turned into just being. Just being a team. Just being a group of
Christians living in the middle of the jungle while the naked
children stared at us from the window.
So what did I learn? If you read my
last blog, you read about our journey into the jungle and us trekking
through miles and miles of mud. Mud so thick that a tractor couldn’t
get through it. Needless to say, I felt like I forgot how to walk and
was learning all over again. I was slipping and sliding and had lost
my normal rhythm of my steps. This is what ministry felt like all
month in the jungle. It felt like I had lost my rhythm to talk to
strangers, to build relationships, to learn their culture, to love
them like crazy, to have it hurt when I had to leave. Nothing about
these 12 days in the jungle felt like the ministries I’d been doing
all Race. Turns out I’d started going through the motions when it
came to ministry on this trip. Being asked to get up and preach in 5
minutes…became normal, being told that you had to teach English
with no preparations or no knowledge of how much they already
knew…became normal, being told to pray for healing or salvation or
prosperity or safety over a stranger…normal. Now I was in a place
where it felt like I had never walked before. It felt like I had
never done ministry before. I had to learn how to walk again. I had
to learn what “ministry� really means again. There is nothing
about “ministry� that is just going through the motions.
Ministry is life. Its not my bible
study on Thursday nights. Its not our worship session on Tuesday. Its
not going to the orphanage in the morning. Its not going house to
house or hut to hut or preaching. My ministry is my life. Every
aspect of my life. Its listening to the beat of my Father’s heart
every step of the way. Its the person I talk to at McDonalds, its the
child I see playing in the street that needs a hug and to be told
that he’s loved, its the lady that sells fruit on the side of the
street that I pass every day knowing that she’s known. Its every
aspect every day. Its living more like Jesus. Its giving up your time
that isn’t yours in the first place. God gave you that time. Its
choosing into where and when God has you.
