So lately I’ve been talking to a lot of people about The World Race, about my upcoming adventures and what they are all about. It hit me pretty hard today when I realized how hard it has been to not make this trip sound like it’s about me. Going to 11 countries in 11 months sounds like an absolutely amazing experience. Devoting my time for a year to help others sounds amazing. That’s what people hear from me. They don’t hear why I’m going to go do this, they don’t hear God’s name…they hear mine. I am not a big deal. When I talk to people, I don’t want them to think that I am this wonderful person that is kind and willing to help others. I am not a big deal. People keep saying…”oh that’s so great that you are doing this, I could never do that.” It is almost like they think I am such a better person than them or other people.
But guess what, I am not a big deal.
When I talk to people…I want them to see God’s love, I want them to understand God’s kindness and God’s willingness to help and forgive. I want them to look at me and see God’s love and see that God is a big deal. I am not a big deal.
It’s been so easy to hear people tell me, “oh that’s so great that you are doing this, you have such a great heart”, and then thinking…yeah I’m pretty awesome. But then I dive into God’s word and realize that He is so much bigger than I could ever imagine. His love and grace and all the things I love about Him go so much deeper than I could ever wrap my mind around. It makes me realize that I am not a big deal.
Reality is…none of us are a big deal when comparing ourselves to what matters the most. My whole life has been about me. I wanted to go into engineering, I wanted to go into Americorps, I wanted to be with this person or that person, I wanted to live here or there. It is about time that I let go of what I want for myself and truly search for what God wants for me and where He wants me and who He wants me to be.
Welcome to The World Race.
