Dios Vive en Mi

 

My spanish is definitely improving, Gloria a Dios! Time goes by here so funny. Some days it feels like we just left the States, and in other ways it feels like I have been on the race for years. These past few days have been super impactful for me. I feel like I am changing so much. All for the glory of God, of course.

 

Lately, my team’s prayer has been to break our hearts for what breaks God’s heart. That is a pretty scary prayer if you think about it. I did not know or fully understand the gravity of that prayer until this morning. We have been doing all sorts of ministry lately. From preaching and sharing testimonies at various churches, doing yard work, collecting and distributing clothes, worshipping and playing games at a local orphanage, picking up trash at the beach, praying in the bar districts, praying for impoverished neighborhoods, praying for sick elderly down the street, just lots of prayer.

 

But this morning was different. This morning, we went to “the dump.” I honestly did not know what to expect. Sure, I have been to the dump in cobb county a few times with my dad but who knew what this dump in Puerto Barrios, Guatemala would look like. We had brought a jump rope for the kids and a few sheets of paper that said “Jesus Loves You” in spanish. We were planning on praying for the people there and playing with the kids.

 

We drove up and just the smell of the trash, the flies, the burning fires all over the place…it was overwhelming. I think it is forever burned in my memory. The smell, I will never forget. There were children there with little or no shoes on, looking for plastic bottles which they could trade in for money. They had to help their parents in this because that was the source of income for the family. Their homes were right there beside the dump. These kids have hardly any belongings to themselves, and they were not getting an education.

I found myself crying the entire time. Thank goodness I was wearing sunglasses. I just kept praying and asking God, “Where are you? You have children here who don’t know you and they are suffering! Where are you, God?” I just cried for a while and kept asking those questions. I was mad at God. I was mad that I had to see that. I was mad that those kids weren’t in school. I was mad that those kids didn’t have shoes. I was mad that these kids were picking up trash as their livlihood. I was mad that God had somehow forgotten His children and that He wasn’t there for them. I got lost in those thoughts for a while then I heard this, “Ashley, I have not forgotten my children. I am there with them. You ask me what I am doing for them, and my response is You. I sent you there, Ashley. I want you to show them My love and remind them that I am there and will always be forevermore.”

I was reminded that the Holy Spirit lives in me. God lives in me. He has called me to these scary places to comfort the people here and to give them hope. That is my job. So while it is sad that these children have to live like this, doing the Hokey Pokey and Limbo and teaching them how to jump rope…that is giving them hope. That Jesus loves them and God is with them always. I just have to be bold enough to trust that the Holy Spirit has empowered me in this way.

 

It is a very cool thing, ya know. Asking God to break your heart for what breaks His. Maybe you should try it sometime.