Ready for a more serious blog?
Probably. Here’s just a little bit of what I’m pondering and hearing from the Lord.
I have a new goal.
No Blank Pages.
I suppose you could look at blank pages in two different ways. Some people might say, “Wow, it’s so exciting to look at your life and see that it’s blank. The rest is still unwritten. You have the freedom to choose what tomorrow is all about.”
*insert mental soundtrack: “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield*
That’s good. I like that thought. I want to live my life with arms wide open, knowing today is where my book begins, and the rest is still unwritten.
God is talking to me about blank pages, but this isn’t perspective He’s taking on “my blank pages.” Have you ever hit a stride and found life, for this point in time, is easy to manage. Maybe you’ve just broken through a tough spot, powered through a busy season, disciplined yourself to make some big changes, and now you’re cruising.
It’s not like you’re looking to coast through life. You definitely have lived long enough to know the ebbs and flows and that some kind of transition is probably around the corner. But right now, after the place you’ve just come from, the ease and oh-so-natural day-to-day life is really good. Sometimes it’s like a little reprieve, and you can just bask in the enjoyment of how smoothly things seem to be going.
Sounds really nice huh? It was nice until I stopped to pray one night before bed. I paused for a minute to let God speak at the close of another great day, and I heard His familiar voice. I even pictured what the face-to-face conversation would have been like.
He smiled first of all. It wasn’t this “smirky” kind of smile that secretly said, “You don’t have a clue what I’m about to unload on you.” God’s not like that. It was more of a smile that said, “Oh sweet Ashley, let me just help you out a little bit with this because I love you soooo much.”
I respond with an open heart and arms when He comes to me like that. I heard Him say, “What was today all about? What’s the thing that we could write down in this awesome story of My Kingdom from all that you’ve experienced and done today?”
Blank. It was a blank page. My college football games, my fun night out with friends, my yummy and healthy supper I created, and my clean laundry and room didn’t add much to the exciting and awesome story of the Kingdom. There wasn’t any condemnation like, “Hey… why isn’t poverty over because of what you’ve done today? Why aren’t the sex slaves held captive around the world freed by all that you’ve done today?” It wasn’t condemning. 
But it was challenging. Nothing I did during the day would have had any effect on any of those things. A short thought or prayer or something would have been better than the blank page I had left unwritten. And now the page was turning, and a new day was starting. That page is left blank forever. I can’t get back that day and make it count for something bigger than myself… to make it count for the Kingdom. I left a big, fat, empty, bland, blank page.
I’m don’t feel like God was saying, “Hey… quit enjoying this season of life! Stop with the mundane, don’t do anything for anybody else, kind of life.” At least, God wasn’t yelling that out and pointing a big finger in my face and trying to make me feel bad enough to change. He asked me some questions, and the answers… well… I could be more conscious, more active, more intentional. My ease of life shouldn’t mean that I exclude those prayers, actions, and intentionality that grows the Kingdom… it should mean that I have a bit more margin for all of it. Without the hard times, the stress, the busyness, it should be that I am filling the pages rather than leaving them blank.
It was a definite moment of “Oh man. Shoot. Look what just happened?!?” You know, the eyes wide open in recognition kind of moment. But God just said, “It’s okay, I’m still King of the day that has passed by and I’m King of all tomorrows. Just know that you have a chance to write in the bigger story of all that is happening, and blank pages aren’t that great of a read. Try not to leave so many blank pages.”
Not condemning, just challenging. No more blank pages. Like Jack from Titanic, “To making each day count.” (yeah I went there.)
Hopefully this blog doesn’t make you feel guilty or bad about whatever you’re doing with life. Hopefully it makes you stop and think about what more you could be doing.
Hopefully it spurs you to be a bit more conscious of the part you play in the story, so you can make sure you add a great page to the Kingdom story today.
Hopefully there aren’t any blank pages.
