I've always secretly wished that my parents would die in Africa. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but that's how I feel. Wouldn't it be cool to know that my entire family devoted their time, energy and lives to the harvesting of souls in countries who are hungry physically and spiritually?
In the past several weeks, I feel as though satan has been attacking each area of my life in an attempt to destroy all that the Lord has built up. I'm confident that this is nothing new to any believing Christian. But, my coping mechanisms have been a little off.
When a hard time has come, I've turned my head to heaven and sent a prayer of thanks to Jesus that He has called me out of America and out of all of the chains that are so easy to wear here. I've clung to my future and not my circumstances.
However, I don't think that is what Paul was talking about at the end of Philippians when he remarked that he had found out how to beat the system of living in the middle of all he wanted or in the pit of desire: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Paul wasn't talking about looking forward to a time where there would be no struggle, even though that is true. He was talking about looking forward to the joy of eternal life with Christ, and the ability to cling to the Father if the present wasn't all that great. Paul didn't just thank Jesus that he wouldn't suffer forever, but rejoiced that he would suffer for His name. Likewise, I shouldn't be thanking Jesus that He is taking me out of this mess I find myself in, but thank the Lord that He has counted me worthy of suffering. I should be grateful for the future, but not live in the future.
It's so easy to think that the joy I've experienced when I've worked in Africa is going to be manifested in the same way when I find myself there soon. But, as a wise friend reminded me, Jesus doesn't want us to cling to the goodness in Africa, He wants us to cling to the goodness of Christ Himself.
It's not about the joy I find in Africa–it's about the joy I find in my Lover. He all that I have that is worth having. He alone won't disappoint and leave me desiring more.
He is my Africa. He is my struggle. He is my joy.
