He’s standing in front of me and looks remarkably stunning. Like always. His eyes. Dang. They get me every time.
And, then he says it. “I am so pleased with you right now.”
“Really?”
“Ash, I’ve always loved you.”
I don’t think I need to explain myself. My name is Ashley Mueller and I’m a striver. I strive for love. I long for attention.
I’ve never thought myself perfect, beautiful or pleasing. Yet, that simply isn’t truth—no matter what day of the week it is or what my hair looks like.
But, when he says those words. Holy night. My heart stops.
I am in love.
I think most people would like him if they could sit down and talk with him. I hope you get a chance to know his heart…ooh la la. He is a catch.
Today is Wednesday and he still loves me. He still thinks that I’m pleasing. Lovely. Incredible. All because I woke up. He thought I was pretty amazing before the shower and before the workout.
Maybe it’s the way he says it?
Today as I sat on my squeaky metal bunk bed, I was overwhelmed by how much I don’t have to do to earn his love. That’s how love works, I suppose. There’s nothing to do to earn more of it. It exists. It isn’t based on achievement. Love is constant. And, so is he.
Sometimes I put too much on love. I think I’ve got to look a certain way and behave a certain way. But, his love isn’t that way. It doesn’t matter if it’s Friday. It doesn’t matter if it’s raining. It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing green socks.
It doesn’t matter if I forget an appointment. It doesn’t matter if I don’t budget well. It doesn’t matter if I do something I shouldn’t.
Love just loves.
I think I’ve been expecting too little. I’ve always wondered what he’ll say when I get to heaven. Am I so uncertain of his love that I question whether or not he is really pleased with me?
He loves me. Always. That’s just the way he works.
Artwork courtesy of Hannah Broders
