God doesn’t call us to innovate and be the best anything. He calls us to imitate, to follow His footsteps.
I’ve been involved in competitive sports since I came out of the womb. Whether it was tagging along at my siblings practices or working out at my own, my family’s “thing” was competitive athletics and we worked hard at being the best.
My life has been based off my performance, my strength, my work ethic…
Then I played my last collegiate soccer game and I no longer had the identity of being a collegiate soccer player. So what better thing to do then dive head first into my developing a career? I knew I wanted to be a counselor, but not just any counselor, I wanted to the best one I could be and that would require a Masters Degree so I dove headfirst into that.
Again the theme of what can I do to be the best in my field was starting all over. But this mentality starts to make less sense outside of the sports arena.
This mentality turns from “healthy competition” into unhealthy comparison.
The saying, “comparison is the thief of joy” never stood more true than when I got into my first career and moved away from my family.
No longer was my strength or my work ethic enough to sustain a healthy lifestyle. So then the numbing game of going out with friends or getting the best outfit, or having the most fun began, so that I could be filled up again.
But it always felt artificial. Until this sense of restlessness, this sense of wanting more, stirred so deep inside me I wasn’t able to numb it any longer
Something had to change. And that “something” was me. I had to change. I had to do something different. I was going to have to take a risk… and I did.
I plunged into the unknown. The unknown of relying not on my own strength, drive or talent, but on God and His direction and provision.
I took a giant leap into this thing called the World Race.
Relying on yourself is easy if you don’t mind working hard. But this was no longer about me working hard; it was about me trusting God. Trusting Him to lead and provide.
Asking for help is hard.
Waiting for direction is hard.
Being still and listening is hard. But once you take the leap you can’t back out so here I am.
And the adventure began with the World Race training camp. Do you know what I began to see?
I caught a glimpse of freedom. Freedom from striving, freedom from comparing, freedom from the expectations of others.
Here are 15 things I learned in a short 10 days at Training Camp
1. Stop being so afraid of discomfort- through discomfort and abandonment we create space for God to fill the voids we have been trying to mask
2. Would you rather have something fake or something alive? We are a temple for the Holy Spirit- we can be the mouth piece of Jesus to help others walk into freedom. Heaven on earth is possible. “We don’t need anymore great sermons or podcasts what we need are people awakening to the Holy Spirit that abides in them”
3. Change your perception from servant based (what can I do for God) to I am a daughter of the King. Let’s do life with Him – we must build intimacy with Him.
4.Would you rather have your environment shape you or you shape your environment? My false self needs validation from others that I’m good enough, that I’m smart enough, that I’m pretty enough. But what if it’s possible to experience a type of freedom that you no longer need external validation because it comes from within, it’s come from the Father who sent his only son to die for you.
5. When we focus on the law of God this is focusing on our own performance, on our own ability to do always do right. But what if we lived in a way of faith and grace instead. “When I was saved and tried to keep the law I continued to fail but when I built a relationship I was filled with the Holy Spirit which allows me to change my life and live out my true identity and purpose”
Grace changes everything – it allows us to focus on Christ’s finished work instead of our performance
6.Forgiveness isn’t an option. When we demand payment from someone else that is demanding payment for our sins from Jesus
Through that statement I discovered clarity about labels and wounds that were placed on me and some that I had placed on myself. I found that for so long I gave myself to others and helped others because it was safer to pour into them then to have the chance of being rejected or my needs not being met when I reached out for help. But “If we are going to live in God’s kingdom here on earth FORGIVENESS isn’t an option. Our ability to give grace to ourselves and to others is an exact depiction of our ability to receive God’s grace.”
7. It’s my job to love & God’s job to judge:
Do you really think judging other people by their sins and pointing out their flaws is going to attract them to a relationship with God. Or do you think loving people and sharing with them “hey I was a mess too but I took it up with God” and he began to mold my heart and switched my conviction mentality to a passion mentality. Going through the hard and messy stuff with God is what creates intimacy. It’s not our job to fix people, that’s God’s. All we can do is plant the seed and extend the unconditional love we have received
8. Stop telling God what you need. Allow Him to make you into his instrument and miracles will happen
9. When you are comparing yourself you are dimming your own light:
I discovered that I had been living in this “poverty mentality” for years. I believed if someone else was smart or funny or beautiful I couldn’t be those things as well. This epidemic of comparison in our society is debilitating. It stops us from walking into freedom, stops us from discovering our true self. When you allow people to see you fully you give them the ability to let their light shine as well. Walking in freedom enables others to walk in freedom.
10. Find your passion and that is where your influence lies. When you find your identity in your passion your tank will go empty quickly but when you find your identity in being a daughter of the King you will be sustained
11. Community: We are made to be relational people for a reason. I finally embraced who I was. I finally saw a glimpse of who I am clearly. When I say I don’t measure up or criticize who I am I’m actually telling God he didn’t do a good enough job creating me. Things came up that I had pushed so deep inside me that I didn’t realize the bondage it was holding me in. I unapologetically spoke about wounds that were holding me back from walking into my true self. I walked in FREEDOM without shame or the fear of unworthiness. This type of community is exactly what God wants for us. We no longer need to be defined by our past. I feel so much hope in my heart because I know “God doesn’t call the equipped He equips the called”. This type of freedom is available to everyone. I was broken, messy, and felt unworthy of love but I know and feel the love of my Father wrapping His arms around me and telling me “you are not the things of your past but you are beautifully and perfectly made in My image”. I am loved more than I will ever be able to comprehend. The community I built in just 10 days changed so much for me. They poured into me, they spoke truth over me, and kept me accountable.
12. Free will- we get to choose things in this world. We get to choose joy in the morning. We get to choose God’s truth or “truths of this world” we get to choose if we are going to depend on His strength or our own.
It’s simple; a lot simpler then we make it out to be. We are called to be child-like for a reason. Stop complicating things so much!
13.The American dream was defined by Seth Barnes “the belief that if you work hard enough you can become someone great.” Well, the American dream isn’t big enough for me anymore because I know my doing will never be enough but I have Kingdom dreams now! I want to live an uncapped life where the impossible is possible.
14. STOP TRYING SO HARD.
Predict and control doesn’t work with God. God wants to do life with us. God wants us to depend on His strength not our own. A scenario at Training Camp made me see this far too clearly:
I was told I had 2 broken legs and had to fully depend on a teammate to get me to our bus. Man, was this a painful experience to feel like a complete burden to my team! I no longer had any control over if we were going to make it to our bus or not. When we debriefed the activity it was made so clear that this is how I’ve built my relationship with God; work harder, do more, be strong, but that is not what God asks of us. He tells us “depend on me, I am your strength, I am your comforter.”
And boom it hit me: Stop trying so hard Ashley and just be with Me
15. Lastly, ENJOY THE RIDE! This is the best adventure I’ve ever been on. It is about the journey not the destination, so be open to it and allow God to take the wheel.
Love you all,
Ashley
