I’m sitting here, in my room wrapped up cozy with a blanket and my laptop. Hillsong United is playing and I’m remembering where I’ve been and where God has taken me and where He is leading me now. To share a little sliver of my night here are the lyrics for the song playing:
I’ve been running, trying to be one who sees
I’ve been working salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
that we are redeemed
I’m believing, trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable:
I take up my cross and follow you Lord
When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees
I’m forgiven; my Savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
I’m delivered, but it doesn’t seem right
unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his life
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it’s to take up my cross and follow you Lord
I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go
I’ve been working salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
that we are redeemed
I’m believing, trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable:
I take up my cross and follow you Lord
When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees
I’m forgiven; my Savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
I’m delivered, but it doesn’t seem right
unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his life
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it’s to take up my cross and follow you Lord
I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go
When I first heard this song and these lyrics my heart broke. It is hard for most of the time to remember that I have been SAVED and that He is my REDEMPTION! When life gets to overwhelming or I let the little things of this world overtake my mind I forget the love and grace that the Lord has blessed me with. So to look back at where I’ve been (broken, beaten, lonely, sad, constantly searching, consumed in darkness, a lover of the world) I praise God for taking the old me, the dead me, and making me ALIVE IN HIM! Of creating a new me, 2 Corinthians 5:17 comes to mind, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! The old me is gone, God has created a new me. The beautiful feeling of this is so liberating, it gives me hope and reveals a freedom in me for my Lord, a surrendering that I didn’t know existed.
So on this rainy fall night while I sit in my room I journey through what God has grown in me and changed in my heart and my life. And I amaze at what He has in store for me in the future. I leave for Training Camp this Saturday and I’m nervous, but excited also! This experience will push me out of my little bubble that I have created and will open so many doors in my heart that I have shut myself, but God is going to help me open them. 
