When asked what suprised him most about humanity, the Dali Lama answered, “Man surprised me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
Recently I began listing all of my prayers down on paper, leaving space to the right of each request to note if and when those prayers were answered. This practice has helped me to become more physically aware of how many prayers of mine God was answering. The practice is helpful in making us more grateful for what God as already done in our lives. It also shows us patterns of where God is continually saying yes or no, which can give us an idea of what our purpose is, which path we should be traveling down, or which path is maybe just not for us.
The two most recent requests of mine revolved around my brother and sister serving with me in Haiti and gaining confidence in my decision to go on an 11-month mission trip this January. Sure enough, it wasn’t long at all before both prayers were answered fully. My siblings came to Haiti this past June, and God raised the full $17,000 needed for me to launch for my mission trip in January… Through the incredible hearts of local friends and family. He literally gave me “yes’s” to the two of my most important requests. But as quickly as my gratitude and awe had set in, it faded away even faster, and surely enough I moved onto what I wanted next. I kept pestering God about the one prayer he had answered “not yet” to for 7 years.
My gratitude was short term as I constantly dwelled on that one want of mine that I still did not have. This also meant that my joy was shortlived as well, knowing that our joy only travels as far as our gratitude.
A few weeks back as I was living out one of my favorite moments, embracing the unconditional love of my favorite children at the orphanage I visit in Haiti, my mind was shifting to how badly I desired a cold shower and the air conditioning of my room. I had been waiting all year to visit Haiti again, yet as soon as my body was there, my mind instantly was not. I had to fight daily to be present and not drift to the future. Then as soon as I returned home to that awaited shower and air conditioning, I wished I was in Haiti again.
This led me to reflect. How so many of us miss out on authentic joy and presence because our minds are always stuck on what we still do not have, or a better comparison that another has.
I can’t say I know exactly where this struggle comes from, although I am sure it has something to do with the thousands of images and portrayals of “perfection” we see on social media each day. We assume theres always better out there, when in reality we are all existing with the same imperfections. We spend so much time searching for something more extraordinary that we forget satisfaction lives in the everyday mundane moments. “We do not live fully in the present or the future.”
It is easier to keep wanting and keep comparing. It is difficult to admit and accept that you have everything you need and to adopt long term gratitude.
As terrified as I am for the world race, I am ecstatic to live only with enough necessities to survive…To be forced to learn true gratitude for simple moments of love, connection, and service.
To be satisfied.
