Krystle & I arrived in Ho Chi Minh city after a long day of travel. We were exhausted, but awoke early the next morning to run. We thought we were going for a typical morning jog. But no! Much to our surprise we soon discovered one does not run in Ho Chi Minh. When hitting the streets with our tennis shoes we transform into human pinballs (or so we decided).
Before describing the rules, we need to take a moment to explain the traffic situation. Or maybe I should say traffic in a non-American sense. Here 1,000’s of short Vietnamese can be seen riding in a sea of mopeds. They’re stinking everywhere! And to top it off they wear brightly colored helmets (my favorite so far is the Panda Bear complete with ears and a tail!) I’m utterly convinced that traffic laws don’t exist in Asia. It is a normal daily occurrence to see a mopedist riding in the opposite direction on a major 5 lane highway. Stopping at a red light is a suggested rather than enforced instruction. I don’t speak Vietnamese, but I think the horns here communicate, “I’m not releasing my foot from the gas pedal-not for anything or anyone!” Sidewalks…Use at your own risk! Sidewalks are actually the Vietnamese solution to all the nation’s traffic congestion. If you are stopped in traffic as a mopedist you have the option to drive on the sidewalk. So, you can understand why Krystle & I now refer to our morning runs as our morning human pinball game. We don’t actually run. Instead, we spend 30 minutes in an intensive agility training-dodging Asian mopedists.
So, here’s how you play….Pinball Mania Vietnamese Style:
*100,000 points-Awarded if one crosses a major road alive (it’s important to note that every street in Ho Chi Minh has roughly 95 visible Asians at any given moment).
*Extra 100,000 points-If the same road is crossed but has a mopedist driving in the opposite direction of traffic.
*50,000 points-Awarded if a horn is honked as a direct result of a dodge.
*123,129.59 points-Awarded to the 1st pinballist to touch the random dinosaur statue within the local park.
*Extra 25,000.02 points-Awarded to the 1st pinballist who climbs the random Eiffel tower next to the dinosaur statue.
*10,000 points-Awarded to the sidewalk pinballist who can cause a mopedist to weave in and out of the jogger’s running route.
*5,000 points-Awarded with each successfully hurdled mopedist.
Bonus Rounds:
*100,001 points-Awarded to the 1st pinballist to successfully leap on the back of a moving moped and travel at least 3 blocks north.
*75,629 points-Awarded if one can steal a helmet from the unsuspected head of a small Asian child.
This is a must play game for every person who visits Ho Chi Minh city. I highly recommend it! Have fun!!
