Wednesday night was
the first night on the entire race (going into month 9 now for those of you who
don’t know that) that I spent bawling my eyes out and didn’t even realize I was
crying until one of my squad mates, Kayla said my name and brought me back to
reality.
S.H.E (Self-Help and Empowerment) has this practice of
prayer and intercession for those of us who stay home while the others are out
at the bars. So, while one group is out, the other group prays over them for
the entire time they are gone and then vise versa the next night. This way,
everyone is constantly covered in prayer and we don’t have to be out until past
midnight every single night…just every other night.
Anyway, I had a new revelation on Wednesday night…my first night of prayer and intercession.
It all started at the foot of The Prayer Wall. At S.H.E, we have this room that is completely
empty except its walls. The walls are covered from top to bottom with maps
outlining Bangla Road.
The outline is so intricate that each and every street,
even the offshoots that spread out of Bangla Road are listed. Not only are they
just listed, each bar on each street is listed too. The best part…every girl
who has at least gone on a date with someone from S.H.E is also listed at the
bar where she works.
My favorite thing about the S.H.E house is definitely the
Prayer Wall. And here’s why.
Singing and praying are two wonderful things, especially
when they coincide. But physically being able to place your hand on a specific
street or a specific girl and pray over them is by far the best. Obviously, my
first street of choice was Soi Easy. I walked over to the wall and placed one
of my hands on the side of the street that we would be allowed to walk down and
placed my other hand on the side that we would not be able to walk down. I
began to just pray for the impossible. I prayed over and over that I would be
able to walk the entire length of that street and have it be safe. I prayed for
the girl (who I still did not meet yet) who needed to hear my words. I prayed
that God would make her known to me as soon as I could set foot on that street.
This is when I kind of blacked out.
All I can remember was seeing an image of a lion in my mind.
Then, I heard Kayla’s voice in the background talking about how God holds our
prayers in a golden bowl because they are that important to him. (I think she
was reading something out of Revelations) I turned around when I heard her say
my name and immediately realized I had been crying because my cheeks and eyes were
swollen and soaked from all the tears. Even my hair was wet. Apparently, I had
been bawling my eyes out for a little while before I came back to the present.
My blackout moment
When I regained “consciousness” I shared with the girls what
had just happened. After processing my “vision” out loud, I began to think that
God was trying to show me something through the lion. What I got out of it
(after two more hours of prayer) was that either He was going to tear up Soi
Easy and race down the street like a roaring lion, devouring all the bars in
His path (but hopefully saving the girls) OR that God was showing me an image
of how evil the street really was. The spiritual darkness of the street was
captured in the image of a lion to portray how the bar owners and pimps prey on
the young girls and they pounce and attack anyone who is in their way.
Either way, I walked away with a new revelation that
night…my hope and desperation for a “better” Soi Easy street was not going to
be a simple thing. It was not something that would happen overnight. It was
going to take a long time. It was going to take time, thought, energy and
prayer. It was going to take considering the idea that I may find myself back
in Thailand, back in Putong again. It may mean living here until I see girls
off that street, until I see Soi Easy being shut down. One thing I do know is
that it WILL take my heart.
The girl who I have never met on a street I have never
walked down already has my heart.
