Friday night was the
first night I’ve had my heart broken.
The funny thing is, I’ve been “in love” before. I’ve felt
heartbreak before. I’ve broken hearts and felt pain from torn relationships.
I’ve also fallen out of this infatuation I used to call love. I can’t say for
sure if I’ve ever been in real love before because what I felt Friday night,
was the most love and heartbreak I have ever felt before. This kind of
heartbreak is something I pray my heart will recover from but understand, it is
here to stay…at least until something changes. I know I can’t possibly ever
forget or ever fall out of love with the girls on Bangla road after Friday
night. Never.
Laughter and I at the bar
So I spent at least two hours of my Friday night on my
knees, bawling my eyes out on one of our balconies for Joy and Laughter, the
two girls that worked on Soi Easy. I was devastated because I KNEW that I
needed more than two and a half weeks to get them out of that bar and all I had
was two and a half weeks. I pleaded with God to give me more time. I was
actually angry because He had promised me a girl and I thought they had to be it!
I cried because I loved them too much to just let them go. I
loved them too much to walk away and never come back. I loved them too much to
allow them to be used over and over again every night. I loved them too much to
let them be bought. But, sadly, none of this was going to change in two weeks.
And THAT breaks my heart more than anything ever has before.
