I’m taking a huge breath right now just thinking about how to write what I need to say. This entry is a little hard for me to post in a public forum because I am still processing everything from the past couple days. But, I could use some feedback from anyone who wants to give it. I’m not exactly sure what the meaning behind these things that I am feeling really are but I just wanted share what has happened lately.
A couple nights ago after we had eaten dinner, I was talking with the rest of my team just about our day and random other things. My stomach was feeling uneasy and I felt a sense of heaviness over me. I thought it was just from dinner, so I dismissed it. We eat a lot here, so it’s not rare that I get this feeling in my stomach after meals. But then, Lauren said she was feeling really uneasy and felt the need to just say something. We do that here. If someone feels angry, frustrated, happy, whatever, we share it right away so our emotions are out there. Since I love confrontation, I like how we’ve gone about this.
After Lauren said that, the heavy feeling intensified and I felt really hot. A couple minutes after I got this almost overwhelming feeling, Lauren said that it was just getting worse for her and felt the need to pray. So, I closed my eyes and put my head on the table and folded my arms around my head. I immediately saw red. First it was just a flash and I thought it was the little flecks of light from the street coming in and hitting the cracks in between my fingers. But then I just kept seeing more flashes and more flashes and then complete darkness. I was getting extremely hot at this point and felt some kind of presence in the room.
I understand that a lot of people that might read this may not believe in spirits, but I do. I can’t really explain the exact way I felt, but I just felt this unwanted presence of darkness in the room. I knew it was a dark spirit because my stomach hurt more, my uneasiness was growing more and more and I felt like something was lingering over my back, holding me down.
While this whole thing was happening to me, apparently, one of the little girls in our family, Yadita was making her way around the table giving all of us hugs. I’m sure she had no idea what was going on but obviously, she could tell, anyone could tell, I was in pain. The moment I felt her hand on my back, it all went away. The uneasiness, my stomachache, the heaviness, everything was gone. Even though I was at complete peace, I was bawling. I picked my head up and saw her look of worry but before I could tell her, in the best Spanish I could, that everything was fine, she held my head and wiped my tears away with her fingers. Of course this made me bawl even harder and she looked so confused. I just held her and let her hold me. After a while of just silence, I was able to tell the rest of my team what just happened, even though I wasn’t even positive about what just happened. All I know is that whatever spirit I felt was not a good one and Yadita made me feel at ease.
So, last night, I got the same feeling. Except this time, I was scared. I just had this sense that something was in our room and not willing to leave. A part of me thinks it was the same thing that was in our room the other night. Again, I just put my head on the table and prayed for peace and restful sleep. I prayed for my dreams to be pleasant and for all of us to sleep through the night. The feeling was a little less intense and I didn’t see anything but I felt so scared to even be in our room, which I never felt before.
I just want to share this so whoever reads this can pray for this place and for my team and me because I have no idea what this is.
