The red fence seemed to stretch for miles. As I slowly took step by step down the long cemented driveway, I can see the vibrant red at the front of the gated entrance taunt me like a messy room just waiting to be cleaned. Side by side I walk with a friend, scrappers in hand, to begin the tedious job ahead of us.
Sun beating down the back of our necks, we begin our work of scrapping off the loose red paint on the fence so that it can once again be painted red. Ironic huh? I plug into my iPod, hoping the music will liven the task, and in the meantime also help make the time go by faster. As I hear the words and prayers of a friend next to me, cars honking behind me, and the cramping of my hand clutching the tool, I press harder into the wood breaking the paint free. All I can think is: Just get through it. You’ll be done soon.
I continue to press harder into the wood, breaking more and more paint free and uncover the weathered, chipped wood that’s lying beneath all the paint. Again my thoughts race: Why am I even doing this? This fence may not even be here in a few weeks, since we’re told it might be taken down…Why don’t we just leave it the way it is? Or just take it down, the wood is old and needs mending; it’s better to just get new wood if we’re gonna go through all this pain and hassle.
Then a subtle voice deep inside breaks through my racing thoughts:
“Ya know, this woo
d represents you”
Um, I don’t think I understand…
“Take a step back and really look at this wood.
See how the top layer of this red paint is dry, cracked, and weathered?
Then you chip away some, and you can see the base coat—a vibrant red color.
Then you keep chipping away that layer and you see the real wood underneath.”
So…this explains me how?
“Well when you chip away at this wood
and get to the original wood
—sometimes you find solid, vibrant wood in its original state,
other times you find the life of the wood has been sucked out
and has turned it dry and cracked. This is you;
Beneath all the hairstyles, makeup and clothes,
behind the smile and the laughter,
and beyond the expectations, achievements, and striving
for perfectionand approval from others
–THIS is the top layer that is dry, cracked, weathered
—functional but not original.
so we’ll chip it away.”
Wait. HOLD THE PHONE. What are you saying??!
Those things work for me. They make me feel good and get others to like me.
“But even when I chip away that top layer,
I find a base layer—colored vibrantly
with ideas and philosophies and sorry to say it,
even lies, about who I created you to be and who I am.
It’s not until I get to the original wood that I start to really see
the masterpiece I intended and created you to be.
But even that part needs mending.
Sure, some of it feels good, looks good, and IS certainly good,
after all, I MADE you good.
You are my original one of a kind masterpiece.”
Ok God. This is uncomfortable.
Are you telling me that I am a painted fence that needs to be chipped away?
“Hm. Sort of.
I’m saying there are a lot of things you believe
about yourself, others, and even me
that you clutch onto so dearly that need to be let go.
There is hurt and pain from your past that I want to help chisel off you.
There are lies that I want to help you uncover.
And better than that, I want to mend and heal you.
So will you walk with me in this process?”
But it will hurt. I don’t think I’m ready for that.
“I’ll never leave you alone in it. I never have and never will.
No matter if you “feel” me here or not. I am.
And that will not change.
I promise.
Walk with me.”
But….It’ll take too long, and I just…
“Walk with me…”
K. BUT… I’m not ready.
“You don’t have to be… Just take my hand and walk with me.”
====This was the conversation I had with Our Papa today as I chipped away at a broken, weathered red fence. Who knew God would use something as simple as a fence to speak to my heart and invite me to walk further in faith, healing, and Love with Him====
Ps. photos curtesy of my lovely friend and teammate AJ :{D
