Things are going well in Nepal and I have a lot to tell you and even more pictures to show, but before I can write that blog I have to write about something a lot closer to home. Many of you have heard me talk adoringly about my grandpa and have probably heard a few stories about him. He hasn’t been doing well the past few months, and last week I heard from my family that he passed away. Even though he was 98 and there were signs this was coming, somehow I always thought Grandpa would live till he was 100. I’m struggling to deal with this grief away from my family, and unfortunately this isn’t the first time this has happened. My grandma died while I was in Japan, and I wasn’t able to go home for that funeral either. It’s difficult to accept the reality of death when you only hear about it from oceans away and aren’t there in person. The thing is, I should have had time to prepare for this because I knew it was coming.
We had a week-long training camp for the World Race, and during camp we did a lot of training for physical aspects of the Race, but also emotional processing. One of things they asked us was, “What do you feel guilty about?” For some reason, the first thing that came to my mind was I felt guilty about leaving my grandparents, especially my grandpa. Later that day in worship, we sang a song about trusting God beyond all borders. For me this normally meant trusting God beyond country borders and being willing to go anywhere for Him, but this night my grandpa kept coming up in my mind. At that point, I heard God tell me to let of Grandpa and trust Him. I started crying and told God, “I can’t do that. How can I trust you with Grandpa? He’s my grandpa and I love him.” But God kept telling me, “You have to trust me with him. I love you and I love him, and I’ll take care of him.” I can’t say that I was trusting enough to give my grandpa to God then, but I see now that God was trying to prepare me for this past week.
Grandpa, Grandma, and I at their 75th wedding anniversary celebration (Sept 2014)
God gave me the right timing to come home from Japan. I was a teacher in Japan for three years, and even though I could have stayed for two more years I decided to end my contract in August 2013. Many factors lead to this decision, but the main reason was that I wanted to spend time with my grandparents. Back in the US, my work schedule allowed me to spend almost every Tuesday with Grandpa, getting lunch and spending time together. When I first came back we would play pool or shuffleboard, but in the last few months he tired more easily, so we sat in his apartment and talked for long hours. I recorded a few of those conversations so I could remember them, and now I’m glad that I did.
Grandpa with his 1933 Plymouth
One of the things I loved most about my grandpa was his stories. He was born in in 1916, and with 98 years of life he had lots of stories to tell. He was able to remember most of it clearly, and I loved to listen to him talk about growing up, our family history, and events throughout his life. He told me how his grandparents moved to America from Germany, and how his own grandfather didn’t speak much English but didn’t really need to as a tailor. My grandpa didn’t speak any German, but his grandfather would give him a nickel every time he spoke a little German. As a boy, he and a friend once went on a two-day adventure in a canoe down the river, and the post card he sent his mom from a drugstore got back before he did. When he was growing up the ice man and milk man used to come around every morning to deliver their goods, and his family didn’t own an electric refrigerator until the 1930s. Grandpa was working at IBM when World War II started, and because the company switched to making machinery for the war his job was considered necessary at home and he wasn’t drafted. I enjoy studying history, and I especially loved hearing stories about the war from his memories rather than a textbook.
My grandparents at their wedding September 9th, 1939
Grandpa had a love of learning, and he was good at it too. He started working a basic position at IBM a few years after high school, but he taught himself what he needed to know to move his way up to becoming a mechanical engineer. He called it “having the gumption” to do better. He enjoyed participating in the Glenaire Quiz Bowl, and he was always thinking of new questions to ask, especially about geography. It’s a good thing my major was International Studies, because he liked to try his questions out on me to see what I knew. Fortunately, I knew the answers to questions like, “What’s the name of the country in between Spain and France?” and “What’s the former name of Myanmar?”
Grandpa had a desire to better his life and the lives of his family. He was always making sure that my brother and I were studying or working hard, and he invested in our educations from the beginning. As a child I didn’t understand the meaning of “savings bonds” or why I got those pieces of paper every birthday and Christmas instead of “real presents”, but when I got to college I quickly grasped the meaning of “$1,500 worth of accrued savings bonds to be used for education.” Thanks to those savings bonds, I never had to worry about paying for textbooks all four years of college. Every time I talked to him he’d ask how studying was going or, in the past year, if I’d found a full-time job yet. I was working two part-time jobs as a library page and an ESL tutor, but he was concerned that I wasn’t making enough to provide for myself and start a career.
Grandpa working at IBM, 1954
His desire to be involved in community and staying busy kept his mind strong and active, and I think that’s what prevented him from slowing down sooner. If I live to be as old as he was, I want to do it the same way: by staying active and involved in community with relatively good health. Grandpa didn’t like to take a lot of medicine, and fortunately he usually didn’t need it. He would tell the doctors what he thought of their prescriptions, and during the last year he also told them that he was 98 years old and he would eat what he wanted to eat. Grandpa loved ice cream, sugar cookies, pizza, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. Growing up, my brother and I always knew exactly which cabinet to get into at our grandparent’s house to find Grandpa’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He didn’t watch a lot of TV (unless it was golf or Judge Judy), and he much preferred more active pursuits such as golf, pool, or shuffleboard. When playing pool he would often claim that he couldn’t see the ball, and you would almost believe him – until he proceeded to sink his next three shots. He was just as good at shuffleboard, since he had a soft touch that would put the puck right where he wanted it. He played golf regularly for as long as he could, and I’m sure he’s playing golf with angels now. Actually, my teammate saw two shooting stars the other night, and she told me that it was probably my grandpa shooting two hole-in-ones.
Grandpa doing what he loved best
There are more memories and more stories to tell, but I think I’ve given you a good picture of who my grandpa was, and more importantly, I hope I’ve shown you who he was to me. I find that as I’ve written this, I’ve smiled and laughed more than I’ve cried, and I’m happy about that. I don’t want to cry when I remember Grandpa, and I don’t want to remember him in death. He was the only grandpa I ever had, and I love him too dearly to remember him like that. I want to celebrate the life that he lived and remember the things that he taught me: love learning, value education, independence, and never stop going.
