I woke up this morning at 2:33 am. My eyes shot open and I thought to myself “today is the
day.” Today is the day when
everything changes; for good.
Today is the day I will say my final goodbyes and enjoy the comforts of
home. Today is the day I abandon
luxuries and privileges. I’ve
condensed my life into just over 60 pounds and I’m discovering quickly that 60
pounds actually weighs more than one would think. My plane tickets are purchased, my paperwork sent in. I’m ready to
Currently I am sitting in the Atlanta airport at gate
B27. I’m waiting for Lauren and
debating whether or not I really want to spend $7 for internet access. I’m sitting on the ground as I type
away, charging up the computer.
I’m not exactly sure how to feel.
I’m going. This
is happening.
I feel a mix of emotions.
blessed, grateful, sad, excited, nervous, stressed, anxious,
elated. It’s changing on a second to second basis at this point.
Despite the absolute thrill I have about this upcoming year
I am also terrified.
I’m not scared of the traveling, the being away from home
[although I know it will be difficult].
I’m not too worried about safety issues or even the ridiculous food I’m
going to have to eat. I’ve just
got this feeling deep within myself that is terrified of what’s to come. Relinquishing the life I have always
known, the person I have always been, even the relationship with God I have
always had. It’s not easy. It stirs up trepidation because I don’t
know what to expect. There are no
guarantees about how this thing is going to turn out. The lack of guarantee, however, is heavily outweighed by
everything that is waiting for me when I choose to step into this. Freedom, power, anointing and
unexplainable grace trump the crazy, frustrating, confusing, impractical life I’m
about to enter in to. So I’m running full-force into
everything in front of me. I’m
defying the apprehension and uncertainty by a mustard-seed sized faith.
So I’m going.
The trip for me has already begun.
I’m stepping out of what feels like the biggest boat I have ever
seen. Until now, I’ve just been
dangling my foot over the water.
I’m dying to myself so that Christ may live. I’m going to experience things that will forever change the
way I live my life, circumstances that will help to form a more Christ-like
character. I’m about to walk into
places infested with injustice and reeking of evil. I’m going to the depths of hell and the heights of
heaven.
And in the midst of it all I intend to see His glory come
down and for His power to manifest in ways I’ve never even imagined.
I feel like I’ve been ready for this for my entire life. Like a piece of my destiny is finally
coming to fruition. I’ve been
preparing for this particular trip for nearly a year. I’ve taken all the necessary steps to set myself up practically,
spiritually, emotionally…
and now it’s just time to go.
Note: As I am posting this it is August 11 and I am in a NYC hotel with five of my teammates getting ready to head out to the airport. Next time you hear from me it will be from Ireland. Love and blessings!
