the first time i heard jake hamilton’s the anthem i was sitting in my living room in branson, missouri. i was two days away from embarking on a journey, a pilgrimage of sorts, that would inevitably change everything about me and the course my life was taking. my family prayed over me and commissioned me out before i left for the world race thirteen months ago. and jake belted it in the background as tears fell from my eyes.
“he’s calling, wake up child. it’s your time to shine. you were born for such a time as this.”
“i am royalty. i have destiny. i have been set free. i’m gonna shake history.”
one year ago i was belting this chorus out at the top of my lungs as i ran through a corn field in romania. the words echoed through my earbuds and became a declaration over my own life. i didn’t believe those words at the time, but i wanted to. i had no idea the weight or the gravity of the things i was saying, the way i was shaping my character and the course of my life. today, i believe those things. i wholeheartedly believe that i was indeed created with a purpose in mind. i have been set free and as someone who has access to the royal throne of heaven my life is shaping and re-shaping the course of history.
two weeks ago i shouted “i’m gonna change the world” with nearly four hundred world race family members. we stood on chairs in the middle of clondalkin, ireland and screamed our guts out. with raw emotion and unrestrained zeal we made that declaration and at the same time our hearts cried, “yes, lord. let it be said of us. let us be a generation that changes the world.”
this morning i had one of those full-circle kind of moments. you know, the kind where the world just slows down and for a moment peace encapsulates you. the kind when, if only briefly, you can just be. i was driving to work, windows rolled down when the song began. “i can hear the footsteps of my king…” the song continued and i sang along as my ford focus carried me down the highway.
“you were born for such a time as this.”
you may not know this about me but i am generally a very discontented person. wherever i am at, i want to be somewhere else. when i was in africa all i wanted to do was get to asia and then i couldn’t wait to get home. i was home three minutes and already looking forward to setting up shop in gainesville. i’ve been down here barely six weeks and already i find my mind wandering to what’s next. what’s the next big thing? and i go through this internal battle of trying to find contentment with where i am at and at the same time refusing to ever be satisfied with the status quo or just getting by. i want so desperately to live the quintessential radical christian life that i am constantly looking for what’s around the corner because where i am just never seems to be good enough.
and it’s robbed me. it’s robbed me for a lot of years from just enjoying where i am at. this way of thinking has kept me from understanding that i was born for such a time as this. i’ve spent too much of my life wondering about how i’m going to get to the next thing and glorifying it in my head that i don’t know how to enjoy the right now. i don’t know how to be content today. the truth is that whether i am in greece, gainesville, or timbuktu i’ll never find true contentment as long as i’m searching for it in my circumstances. when i can look beyond where i am at, who i’m with, and what i’m doing; beyond all of the junk, injustice, poverty, and chaos; when i can look past it all and lock eyes with the king of kings, that’s when i’ll find contentment and that’s when a deep resolve will rest in my heart of hearts to say “it really doesn’t matter.” none of it…good, bad, right and wrong, the hell and the happiness. it all goes away when i can stand solely upon who the lord is and who i am to him.
i’m getting there. a felt a piece of it today. it’s a process. for the most part my spirit has developed a strong hatred towards anything that takes time. anything that involves a struggle and an exercise is generally not among my favorite things. but, i’m working it out. i’m wrestling with the discontentment in front of me and i’m facing it head-on. i’m not looking for ways to be stagnant and complacent. no, i’m looking for ways to get the stuff out of my way. i’m looking to gaze upon my creator without restrictions.
i’m choosing to say that i was born for such a time as this. two weeks ago this was standing on furniture in ireland. six months ago the this had me preaching the gospel to two hundred africans in the middle of the ugandan bush. today my this has me in gainesville, georgia. going to meetings, developing marketing strategies and celebrating birthday’s with hamburgers and network television. it’s all kingdom. it’s all destiny. it’s all a part of shaking history. would i rather be holding aids babies in vietnam or having coffee with lost college students in greece? yes. i would rather be doing that. i would rather have a backpack on my back, storming the gates of hell with forty-five other crazies in the middle of nowhere south america. and i believe the lord will give me all of those things back, in one way or another, in his timing.
but today, i’m choosing to fight for contentment.
i’m choosing to declare that i was born for such a time as this.
and i’m battling to make this good enough.
