Imagine getting off of a ferry, piling onto an old bus (affectionately known as “La Cucaracha” because it would never die), and then pulling up to a tiny park where a dozen little boys, all wearing colorful paper crowns, rush aboard and smother you with hugs and Hola!’s. Pretty dreamlike, right? Well, for team Royal Covenant, that is how we started our Month 3 on the island of Ometepe in Nicaragua.
A year and a half ago, my mom told me she and my step-dad were going to move to a tiny island in Central America I had never heard of. During the time they lived there, I heard story after story about this island, its people, its food, and its views they had grown so fond of. When they moved back to the States in April 2014, my mom and I dreamed of what it would be like to visit the island together one day. So, imagine my excitement when I found out our team would be spending an entire month on the island my family grew to know and love so deeply.
Our team spent our 3rd month at CICRIN, a little orphanage right at the water’s edge of Lake Managua. Each day we would sleepily walk down to breakfast where we were greeted by the kids quickly eating breakfast with their wet, freshly washed hair and crisp school uniforms. Then, we’d have an hour or so of quiet time until it was time to start our mornings of manual labor. We cleaned the main areas of the grounds, helped to construct a new retaining wall, or helped CICRIN’s gardener, Helario, in the garden. Then we’d have lunch and prayer time. We’d spend time in prayer for protection over the orphanage, over the kids, over the island, and the country. Afterwards, we had about two hours of free time. We’d do laundry, take a nap, read, write, hitchhike into town, or play with the kids. When 4:00 came around, the kids would meet us at the Rancho (the main area everyone used for activities) and our team would lead them in dances, games, crafts, or even surprise water balloon fights. Then we’d all get cleaned up, head to dinner, have team time, and go to bed. The routine was such a sweet surprise, especially during a time in our lives that we’d written off routines and consistency.
I spent most mornings in the garden and, looking back, it was the perfect place to have been. With every handful of weeds I pulled from the earth, The Lord gave me a glimpse of how he uproots our sins and pains. With every seed planted and watered, God showed me how he tenderly cares for each of us. Along with tending to the plants, we also helped take care of a flock of peliwees (sheeps that have bred with goats). Whenever the gardener would call out to the flock, no matter how far, the peliwees ran to him. They knew their shepherd’s voice.
So many of Jesus’ teachings came to life out in the garden: his parable of the sower (Matthew 13, Mark 4, Luke 8), the parable of the lost sheep (Matthew 18, Luke 15), and his explanation of being the True Vine (John 15). They seemed to jump off of the page, living and breathing.
Yet, despite all of the new and wonderful things for me in Nicaragua, I was struggling. I spent a lot of November battling internal accusation and cruel words from the enemy. I wrestled with thoughts that my team didn’t truly love me, thoughts that I wasn’t cut out for the Race, thoughts of being a disappointment, and even thoughts that I wasn’t a real Christian… just a fake. I made the decision to bury those thoughts and struggles. “No one will understand. They’ll just think I’m ridiculous. It’s all in my head, so it’s stupid.” Oh, what a lie.
On our last Sunday at CICRIN, I couldn’t emotionally pull myself out of bed. I skipped out on church and slept for hours. Finally, Jake (my team leader) asked me to get out of bed and come outside to talk with him. “Awesome. Not only do I feel really low, but now my team leader is going to chew me out. Fantastic!” I thought as I walked across the yard to where he was playing with some of the kids. But, instead he asked, “Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?” And that was it, I unravelled.
We walked over to some chairs in the Rancho and I spilled my heart and my pain as the tears flowed. I finally let someone know my heart was hurting, I felt alone, attacked, and emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. And guess what, instead of berating me for laying in bed all morning depressed, my friend’s heart broke for me and then he prayed for me. Finally, he gave me some advice, “Give whatever you can. Even if it’s just the tiniest amount, give it. Ask the Holy Spirit to strengthen you, rely on him, and then just give what you can today.” I still carry that advice around in my back pocket for the particularly hard days.
That afternoon unlocked something in me. We spent the last few days in the garden again, where I was able to spend time weeding and planting with so much more joy. I was able to start talking to my team a little more, letting them in bit by bit. That afternoon didn’t solve the struggle for me, but I finally started seeing I wasn’t alone, my team did love me, and The Lord was so near to me.
Keep scrolling for more pictures and a video of our month on the island!
The wind and the gnats were intense while we waited on the mainland for our ferry.
Trusty, old La Cucaracha.
This is where we did our laundry by hand. It overlooked the beautiful lake so I’d put on some good music and get in my laundry washing groove.
We watched amazing sunsets every night.
Had the sweet chance to give this lady flowers while we were in town.
Photo credit to Brittany Gonzales and Jake Quijas. Most of these pictures were taken by these two talented friends.
